statistics

Yesterday, I looked at some STATISTICS – and lost the plot a bit. Statistics always do that to me, and usually I avoid ‘seeing’ them if at all possible. Plus I usually don’t take any notice of them, because ‘statistically’ I should probably be dead. And as I’m not, I feel justified in ignoring them. A bit like weather reports. But the big bill board was a bit hard to NOT see, which led to the ‘omg! omg!’ attack. Fear creates anger in my head. Then I need to DO something, which is not always possible.

But, saying that, something useful DID come of my Statistic Shriek. I was reading an article [copied in below, as they sometimes disappear – actual article here] about the sad death of Pierce Brosnan's daughter, Charlotte, and I discovered that in the UK, women at high risk are eligible for annual screening once they reach the age of 35, or are five years away from when their youngest relative was diagnosed with the disease.

This is great! And why didn’t I know? Please share this information. It could save someone's life.

Pierce Brosnan with his daughter Charlotte, who has died of ovarian cancer, aged 42

“Catch ovarian cancer before the disease catches you

By Max Pemberton

The death of Pierce Brosnan's daughter, Charlotte, from ovarian cancer must increase awareness of this often ignored disease.

The sad news last week that Pierce Brosnan’s daughter, Charlotte Emily, has died of ovarian cancer at the age of 42 has put this oft-ignored disease on the news agenda. It is the fifth most common cancer in women, with 7,000 cases diagnosed annually in the UK, yet it is rarely in the headlines compared with, say, breast or cervical cancer.
Ovarian cancer has been linked to certain genetic mutations that are also implicated in breast cancer; and the tragedy of Charlotte’s death was compounded by the fact that her mother Cassandra, Brosnan’s first wife, died of the same disease in 1991.
Whenever someone in the public eye is diagnosed with or dies from a disease, the number of anxious people visiting their GP with apparent symptoms rises. Often, these are the ''worried well’’, but in the case of ovarian cancer, not all women who may be at increased risk realise they are entitled to regular monitoring on the NHS.
If any good can come from this death, it is an increased awareness of the support and screening services available for women with a higher-than-average chance of developing the disease. They include those who have a strong family history of ovarian or breast cancer (two or more close relatives from the same side of the family, such as a mother, sister or daughter, who are diagnosed under the age of 50). Such women may have inherited a mutation on the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene and can be referred for genetic testing.
The chance of developing ovarian cancer for most women is one in 50, but for those with this mutation, the risk rises to between 15 and 45 per cent.

Women at high risk are eligible for annual screening once they reach the age of 35, or are five years away from when their youngest relative was diagnosed with the disease. Screening includes a blood test for a chemical that is sometimes produced by ovarian cancer cells and an ultrasound scan.
Anyone concerned about the risk of ovarian cancer should use the online information tool called Opera (http://www.macmillan.org.uk), which will help them decide whether they should seek medical advice.”

World Ovarian Cancer Day: 8th May 2013

May 8th marks the first World Ovarian Cancer Day where organisations from around the world will unite to educate their communities about ovarian cancer and its symptoms.

Ovacome along with other patient organisations from around the world came together at the initial meetings to discuss the common issues surrounding ovarian cancer and are please to be a part of the first global ovarian cancer awareness event which we hope will build a sense of solidarity in the fight against ovarian cancer.

How can you get involved?

Join Ovacome for a tour of London on Tuesday to help spread awareness of the first World Ovarian Cancer Day. They will be taking pictures and handing out ribbons at various popular and iconic sites around London.

They will be meeting at 10.30am on Tuesday at the Ovacome offices and plan to head to London Bridge, Westminster, Green Park and finish at the Transport Museum, Covent Garden.

If you are free for a couple of hours then join them when you can and Ovacome will also provide Ovacome t-shirts for volunteers to wear and materials to hand out.

If you are unable to join Ovacome in London and still want to help support World Ovarian Cancer Day then you can still hand out leaflets, put up posters and send in pictures of activities taking place where you are!

Going Viral:

As this is global campaign we want to share our participation with the other global organisations involved so please help us to spread the word by using social media sites to inform others of how you are supporting the first World Ovarian Cancer Day. You can send you pictures or post them to Ovacome’s Facebook and Twitter pages so they can share them with their wider community.

on Facebook!

Use #WOCD #WorldOvarianCancerDay on Twitter to join the conversation.

http://www.ovacome.org.uk/

our 11th anniversary

well. I've been married to the FH 11 years today – astounding! time flies when you're having fun! And we really have had some fun – and some very dark times too.

My office smells beautiful – this morning I had a great big bouquet of lilies…and a lovely card…the photo is of us cutting our 'cake' – a massive pile of meringues which went with  a huge bowl of strawberries, and another of clotted cream…I have my Gran's Victorian scarf on [for something old], and my Mum's amethyst ring [for something blue].

I was thinking about this [the dark times] at the weekend. We've been through so many troubles. We seem to attract drama of the worst kind – divorce, CSA [translate – blood sucking imbeciles], redundancy [both of us at the same time!], unemployment [again, both at the same time], accidents, car problems [er – these cost a fortune!], house problems [these too!], volcano deleted holidays...you name it...we've dealt with it. Oh and of course the cancer crap.

How can a person ever know WHAT they are getting into when they get married? Ah – in 'sickness and in health' – no-one really understands that part. The FH thought he was marrying a fit and fat individual. And he was. Fat. Not so sure about the fit bit…but I was a normal healthy woman – with normal healthy appetites for life. How that has changed. And how supportive has the FH been. He is an amazing person – his own everyday stresses are horrendous. Running your own business sucks – people get the idea that if you have your own business, you must be at the top of the food chain. Er – not. It sucks – no paid holiday, no wages at all if the people don't come in and buy. Bah. Hate it.

And we have struggled. A lot. We still are struggling now. But – we struggle together. We meet every challenge together. We deal with every difficulty as a team. It's hard. But – we also have fun – we go off on mad trips – the FH is a genius for planning 'Stuff'. Stuff that doesn't cost us a fortune,  but always means we have a great time. I have had the best holidays of my life with this man – and that's saying something, as I have had a brilliant life, full of travels. But the FH always always manages to think up something new and fun…

He even managed it while I was in chemo. He is a genius for making happiness happen. I am so lucky.

I am so happy today! I hope to God I remain in remission for ever?

idiots and neighbours

to go back to cancery stuff [ which I've been trying to avoid!] - I am still having sharp and odd pains in my belly. I am sure they are merely adhesions…but I am also thinking that 6 months is a LONG time between check ups. Even though I am so busy running from pillar to post…it weighs on my mind.

I can't quite get my head around it. All the pain is in the left hand side of my lower abdomen. Nothing happened there? Except scraping of the bowel where the cancer had spread from the ovary. Well, seems the bowel didn't think much of that and complains eternally. I hope. It makes me nervous though. Recurrence is never THAT far from my mind. Sadly.

Anyway, onward and upward! Some days, life is full of shit. really - it's infuriating, but sometimes the little things [the really meaningless things] can drive you completely sparko! Take today. I needed to go to the bank, and I needed cat food for the Small Beasties. I like to use small local shops [I am Mrs Anti-Sainsbury's-Taking-Over-The-World] and if the price is right, I'll use them. So off I went to the local 'centre' which has a load of little shops, including a really cool pet shop.

Got my kitten food, bread from the baker and did the banking [ha ha]. Felt rather jolly about the whole day so far.

I got into the car preparing to leave, and there was a woman getting into her small Gold Thing next to me. There was a horrendous wind today. She opened her rear passenger door, and the wind caught it - BANG! Into my rear passenger side panel. With force. I looked over, and she was merrily leaping into her Gold Thing, preparing to drive off. uh - I don't think so!! I leapt out of the car and asked her to stop [she would have had to run me over to leave].

I informed her that she had put a rather large dent in my Beemer. And that I'd like her insurance details please. She said she hadn't dented my car. I was astonished. And cross - and the more cross I become, the more polite and snotty I become. We had 'words'. I tried to explain to her that the obvious large scrape of gold [good grief - a gold car…ffft] paint on my dark blue car was from her door. She wasn't having it. Obviously [in her teeny brain - brain?? what brain??] IF her door had dented my car, there would be paint missing from her door. NOT!! Grr.

THEN she told me not to be 'stroppy'. Oh dear - like a red rag to a bull. Stroppy? And there was me, thinking I was being so restrained as I hadn't actually throttled her…some people have no idea at all about rage. I informed her that if she thought I was being stroppy [what a repulsive word!] she had yet to see true 'stroppiness' and should just push me a little harder in order to find out what it really is.

I think I must have looked quite scary [I tend to go bright white when I am furious], as she then said sorry and asked if I was 'all right'. DOH!! Obviously I was not!!

Eventually I got her phone and name - I hope. Not too serious if she gave the wrong details, as I took a photo of her car reg. And I have contacts in the police. So I will find her if she lied.

The whole point it this - if she'd just apologised, I'd have let it go. Who needs the hassle. It's a dent- there are far worse things, as we know. But she lied. I hate that. It will be interesting to see what happens when I call her for her details. I've had a quote - we will see.

Afterward I went round to my friend Claire - her husband is a brilliant artist and Body Shop person. He had a look at the car [in the pitch dark and rain - had to park under a lamp post!] and is confident it can be repaired for a reasonable amount. Claire supplied a calming glass of wine and lots of really neighbourly and 'friendy' type chat. And some headache tablets. :) I came away feeling much calmer - so lovely to have 'proper' neighbours - people who are there for you when you are at your wits end. Thanks Claire and John.

In the meantime, I have named the Wee Beasties!! Yay me!! This is Tigger Bear [Bear]:

And this is Tiger Lily [Lily]:

this week

last weekend I went to see my besties. And it was brilliant - spent time just talking, eating wonderful food, drinking excellent wine and generally chilling out.

It was a very relaxing 3 days. And thanks to them, I came home feeling much more 'together'. The reason I went to visit was to see my darling friends - one of which has had a hideous and hurtful experience. It was for ME to go and be supportive. But as usual, I was the one who was looked after like a princess. But I did try!

The only bad things were being delayed [as usual!] and that the FH couldn't come. Too expensive - but he merrily booked MY ticket for me anyway - not caring at all. Darling man.

This is a wonderful place…a beach hut - sitting on top of a sand dune. We had marvellous weather and were able to sit outside in those chairs from lunchtime until after midnight - it was so warm! I have a suntanned face!

And this is the view at breakfast time…fabulous, calming, empty beach. Had sardines for lunch. Super. The simple things are always the best. A 5 star hotel would not have been nicer than this!

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In the meantime, I have had slight problems with the Botox palaver - the left side of my face is immobile. NOT great for smiling! In fact rather grotesque, as the left side of my mouth pulls downward. Ugh. But it'll wear off. Wouldn't it be nice if everything horrid eventually wore off?

Plus it's tipping down here- - no gardening today!

Oh, and all ovarian cancer types - go here and fill in this survey please…

a post at last!

I know I haven't really posted for an age [awareness posts don't really count as 'posts' do they?] - and I'm not apologising, because mostly I blog when I am stressed out. It's a brilliant venting place for me. Much to Some People's disgust. But there you go - each to his own eh?

Happily this isn't a 'venting' post at all - I just thought I'd catch everyone up with my little life before someone decided I'd dropped dead! And it's difficult, as SO much has been going on. So, I will try to précis.

First I did the event at the Port Royal [yep - fund raising still!]. Then I did the posters for the Cystic Fibrosis event at the Port Royal too. And we went - it was such fun. Little yellow ducks all over the place! And of course, the usual fab bbq. Oh, and some random swans wondering WHAT was going on?!

Next event was the Boot Sale. Oh ghastly - up at 4.30 and off to freeze our butts off in the queue until 7.15!! Er - what? Anyway, the torture was worth it, as I made £85.00 and Vicky made £60.00. Better than a poke in the eye with a plastic daffodil…

Then I've been having these 'days'…one of them was a particular cracker - first, at about 7.30 in the morning I was asked to quote on [and got] a freelance design job from my friend John. On the same day, Feelgoodecobeds sold a bed and two bedside tables through a friend of mine, Jo - of which I earn a percentage. Then it turned out that my fellow blogger and friend, another Jo won the Port Royal lottery prize!! And [and this was getting a bit mad] I was in the local  paper - the Express and Echo, AGAIN - they seem to be trying to help me [they published my justgiving address etc]. How cool is that?? And, near the end of the day, we sold a duckboard through Amazon!

And last, but certainly not least [on that day], I reached 62% of my fundraising target through my friend Lins -  way to go. It was amazing and exhausting having so many good things happen in one day. Not normal right? But very nice and I had a great day!

In the interim I have been battering away at the chalets and gardens, but doing bits and pieces of graphic design for sundry peeps. All good. Must converse with the accountant before I sink into total chaos…I've missed my spinning class for 4 weeks!! Shriek! The next class is going to be torture.

We had the G'daughter here for a week. There was no WAY I was going to spinning while she was here. Such wasted time.

                      I had events. I had appointments. Of which one was The Face. My synkinesis, the result of Bells Palsy, has always driven me a bit mad.Well, a week ago Thursday I had a visit to the Botulinum clinic. NOT an easy decision after conversations regarding the likely collapse of my face once more, plus the ghastly idea of an injection into my eyeball to cure the Crocodile Tears. But, so far so good - no improvement really, and only a bit of facial drop so far. And not too much pain yet. Maybe next time he can be more accurate.It only lasts 3 months after all.

And I broke my toe on Saturday night  [that made the boot sale SUCH fun…er. NOT!]. My toe has turned black and blue. Hmm…message to self - be MORE CAREFUL!

And my brother Pete is doing a run for me!! All the funds from his run go to my Women v Cancer fund! Yay - thanks Pete!!

So. Life is good. Hard work, lots of friends - hardly thinking about recurrence unless something stupid happens [which it does, but it seems easier to deal with now?]

And tomorrow I am off to visit my BFF's!!  Woohoo!

an excellent insight

While I was going through cancer and chemo and chaos, I had a hard time accepting or asking for help. I felt it would be 'weak' and tried my best to handle as much as I could on my own or with the FH. He never gave me a choice anyway ;o) Thank goodness. And it was exhausting. For everyone.

I did push people away. I didn't really want my family to see me at all - I just couldn't cope with the idea that they'd see me so ill. And whining. And bald. And that that would be how they remembered me if I died. Rather they remembered the argumentative baggage of yore…

Sometimes it was hard to cope with the reactions of friends or acquaintances, because I was feeling so touchy. Now, I understand everything - how hard some people tried, why some people ran away screaming [silently, but still…] and which people were just a bloody waste of space. And still are - but in someone else's space now thank you.

And how harsh I was. And how patient people really were with my 'oh I have cancer and I might die so don't even go there' bullshit. The following is a post by a fellow blogger - The Carcinista. She's a a two-and-a-half time ovarian cancer survivor. And a fashion freak ;o) And she is beating this bitch disease at last. Go girl! Third time lucky.

Her insight into this is excellent. Read on. Oh, and for UK cancery types, Ovacome is a really marvellous support group. Try them.

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Help Me Help You

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See her blog here: The Carcinista. And her Facebook page here.