Happy Christmas? Oh yes…

I really don't like Christmas. It sort of sucks. Everyone being all 'happy' for no good reason. I lost both my lovely Dad and my sweet father-in-law round Christmas. I was diagnosed with cancer just after Christmas. I had a massive scan-scare last Christmas. So - actually Christmas for me? It's crap. I get sideswiped by sadness.

I will be sitting around doing something, then BOOM I am almost in tears. Or totally in tears. Just memories; thoughts of things shared in the past…just missing people. Missing the missing people.

Mostly my Dad - he liked a Real Ale at Christmas. He liked Stilton like I do, and the dark meat on the turkey like I do - and dark rum & raisin chocolate. And so on…tut, I am so like my father, so I am constantly reminded of him. Which is mostly a happy thing, but some days - a very sad thing.

But this year has been interesting and amazing. I did the 400km cycle across Cuba [brilliant - but torturous!] - I have now raised over K12.5 for research - I am very proud of this! Plus I have a cupboard full of cycle medals - of which I am also proud.  I never EVER thought I would get a medal for anything!

And - we have a new little grand son…I honestly didn't think I'd live to see this Christmas. To actually be here to meet Joseph? It's incredible. Here he is with the very first Christmas gift of his life…and it made me cry to actually buy it - because I was so happy to still be here to do this.

This year has been a catharsis for me. And this post is to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has helped me get to this point. A point where I can actually now start to plan for the future [fingers crossed]. I know - it sounds insane. But until now I have been thinking 'wtf - I'll probably die before I finish [insert anything here]' - but it seems my mind has caught up with my healing body. Now I have plans!!

The garden needs an overhaul. The house does too - everything became frozen in time when I was diagnosed with cancer. Not so any more. It has taken over 5 years, but I am finally getting with the program. But even so, I still touch wood for every little thing. Expecting something to go wrong.

So ~ thank you to everyone who has helped me. Thank you for the little things; my Mum donating to Kate instead of me, when we didn't think Kate would make the minimum amount for Cuba. Medhat, for donating his restaurant for an event that raised over £1000 even though it was FREEZING cold. Peachy Farmer for playing at that same event - they were absolutely amazing! Claremont Marquees for giving me a marquee…Liz for hosting a brunch that raised a fortune; Lindsey for raffling one of her paintings...on and on...I could fill the entire internet with a list of people who have been so kind. But I won't. You all know who you are. And you all know how grateful I am. And you all know you have my heart in your hands.

KBO then. As they say! Until the Ride the Night eh? ;)

Cuba. And things

This is a long overdue post! The Cuba cycle was amazing - hard, but still, it should be hard. People sponsor us in the expectation that we will do something in return. That is what we promise. To cycle 400km in a foreign country so that they will sponsor us. And really - we did! We cycled each day in 40 degree heat and 90% humidity. Everyone was completely out of their comfort zone. You could NOT train for this in the UK.

But I am proud to say that I cycled every single sweaty kilometre! Much to my amazement. I really didn't think I'd trained enough. But patently I had, as I didn't end up in the bus, apart from at the stops, where I was leaping in with gay abandon to get my hot and sweaty self under the air conditioning vent!

We had to drink non stop and we had our heads soaked every afternoon to counteract the effect of the terribly draining humidity. For some reason I was lucky and it didn't affect me all that much - and I had crisps! SALT!! Very important. They do not have crisps in Cuba for some reason.

Cuba itself is stunning. Greener than the UK, and the people much more friendly.  The landscape is beautiful - Cuba is the island of landscapes; rolling hills, mountains, valleys and beautiful bays. And we cycled through them. Cursing the flats, not the hills. We were so glad of hills, as they gave us down hills - and a bit of a breeze.

The same day that I finished the cycle, I called the FH. He was so pleased for me - but at the same time he had to tell me that he was flying home from Grenada, where he was supposed to be having a relaxing break, to be with his father. Harold was in hospital and very, very ill. That day, I was out in a purple car with Helen. And I was so grateful that I was with her. We simply carried on. Helen understands loss. Even then, I knew we would lose him. It was heartbreaking.