Happy Christmas? Oh yes…

I really don't like Christmas. It sort of sucks. Everyone being all 'happy' for no good reason. I lost both my lovely Dad and my sweet father-in-law round Christmas. I was diagnosed with cancer just after Christmas. I had a massive scan-scare last Christmas. So - actually Christmas for me? It's crap. I get sideswiped by sadness.

I will be sitting around doing something, then BOOM I am almost in tears. Or totally in tears. Just memories; thoughts of things shared in the past…just missing people. Missing the missing people.

Mostly my Dad - he liked a Real Ale at Christmas. He liked Stilton like I do, and the dark meat on the turkey like I do - and dark rum & raisin chocolate. And so on…tut, I am so like my father, so I am constantly reminded of him. Which is mostly a happy thing, but some days - a very sad thing.

But this year has been interesting and amazing. I did the 400km cycle across Cuba [brilliant - but torturous!] - I have now raised over K12.5 for research - I am very proud of this! Plus I have a cupboard full of cycle medals - of which I am also proud.  I never EVER thought I would get a medal for anything!

And - we have a new little grand son…I honestly didn't think I'd live to see this Christmas. To actually be here to meet Joseph? It's incredible. Here he is with the very first Christmas gift of his life…and it made me cry to actually buy it - because I was so happy to still be here to do this.

This year has been a catharsis for me. And this post is to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has helped me get to this point. A point where I can actually now start to plan for the future [fingers crossed]. I know - it sounds insane. But until now I have been thinking 'wtf - I'll probably die before I finish [insert anything here]' - but it seems my mind has caught up with my healing body. Now I have plans!!

The garden needs an overhaul. The house does too - everything became frozen in time when I was diagnosed with cancer. Not so any more. It has taken over 5 years, but I am finally getting with the program. But even so, I still touch wood for every little thing. Expecting something to go wrong.

So ~ thank you to everyone who has helped me. Thank you for the little things; my Mum donating to Kate instead of me, when we didn't think Kate would make the minimum amount for Cuba. Medhat, for donating his restaurant for an event that raised over £1000 even though it was FREEZING cold. Peachy Farmer for playing at that same event - they were absolutely amazing! Claremont Marquees for giving me a marquee…Liz for hosting a brunch that raised a fortune; Lindsey for raffling one of her paintings...on and on...I could fill the entire internet with a list of people who have been so kind. But I won't. You all know who you are. And you all know how grateful I am. And you all know you have my heart in your hands.

KBO then. As they say! Until the Ride the Night eh? ;)

Jeremy 'H'unt

So. I am never up to date with the news, as I never watch TV. I hate TV. Every time I DO watch it's either something that makes me feel like slightly killing myself or killing at least 12 other people. So I don't watch it. And the radio is just as bad - so my 'News' is garnered either by posts on Facebook or [if I feel really interested] by a Google search [of posts on Facebook] of what's happening today.

Subsequently, I was not 100% aware of the Saatchi Bill Fiasco. Until I had an email from Ovarian Cancer Action. I am one of their Voices, so possibly I SHOULD  be aware of this kind of thing. Well. I am now! And now I am Fuming!!

Why? Because some foolish man - Jeremy Hunt to be precise [Hunt?? Really? ok…], has stated that 'cancer already has a cure'. So we don't need the Saatchi Bill. Well, well! I totally missed the news headlines about that little miracle! Stupid man!! IF cancer has been cured, then how is it that there are still so many of my friends that are dying?? DO let me know Jeremy won't you?

It's astounding that a modern man can be so completely and  moronically out of touch. The treatment for ovarian cancer has not changed in the last 45 years. Oh, and DO correct me if I'm wrong! Thank God that we didn't have a 'Hunt' when Faber was trying to create a cure for cancer - imagine that! Hunt would have crushed chemotherapy and - oh joy! I and thousands of other cancer patients would now be dead thanks to his lack of foresight. Innovation is the only way forward you foolish man.

Do you think, Jeremy, that the women that Farber tested chemotherapy on in the 40's were like you? No. Of course they weren't. They were women who knew that if they didn't try something new - they would simply die. And dying is not an option for cancer patients - in OUR minds, survival is the only option. You make us sick [well - sicker]. And patently, you wish to REALLY make us sick, as in making us die - due to lack of CHOICE. We have to have a choice here - the facts being that IF there is a doctor who has a reasonable treatment, tested and tried in the lab - it should be OUR choice, as cancer patients, to allow that doctor to test his new and innovative treatment on us. NOT YOURS. IF we are at a point in our treatment that none of the traditional [as in chemo] tried and tested treatments will help, WHY is it that we should not be allowed to give permission to a doctor to trial his innovative treatment on us? WHY is it it YOUR decision?

Who do you think you ARE to decide for women whether or not we can live? Who do you think you are to decide that someone who has studied our disease should not be allowed to try to help us?

Why is it that you think you know what is best for women with Ovarian cancer? You have never had it. And never will. Do you think that if perhaps your wife or daughter had ovarian cancer [God forbid such a thing], and were at their very last choice, that you would not wish to have the help of an INNOVATIVE doctor - whom could perhaps save her life?

I truly believe that in that situation, you would definitely change your [at the moment] ridiculous and thoughtless point of view. IF there is already a 'cure for cancer' then DO share. I would love to tell the friends I have that are fighting this disease. I am sure it would make their bloody day to know.

"It has been reported that Jeremy Hunt at the Department of Health announced last week that it would object to the bill as there was "already a cure for cancer".

Lord Saatchi’s Medical Innovation Bill is simply helping doctors innovate new treatments and cures for cancer and other diseases. Why has it been refused? HOW can you object? How could anyone object?

Please. Share this information. Get people to see this. We deserve better than Hunt and his inane refusal. IF I were to have a recurrence, I would desperately want the choice of innovative treatment - the existing treatments we have are limited, and one's body can become immune to them. And the cancer cells can too.

Do NOT let Jeremy Hunt limit your choices. And by doing so, limit your life. Share.

tickled pink? not really…

Below the picture is a guest post by Joanne [pictured below], a breast cancer survivor who has something she'd like you to understand.
…just so you know…no-one is particularly 'tickled pink' if they've actually had breast cancer. I don't think I'd be very impressed with a 'Tickled Teal' campaign for ovarian cancer awareness either! Good grief - so, read on!

October, traditionally known for Halloween, Autumn and harvest festivals, is now known as Breast Cancer Awareness month or 'Tickled Pink'.

I have no idea who came up with Tickled Pink but I seriously would like to bash their faces in. It's quite obvious, as with most things to raise awareness of breast cancer, e.g.: Facebook status to do with bra colour, handbags, gestation periods - that these people have never had to go through breast or any other cancers.

I don't get offended by many things but this offends me.

The strange thing is, because you have gone through it, your friends think you will automatically sign up to this shit and then they get all defensive when you set the record straight.

There was a time when I would go around buying Tickled Pink stuff thinking I was doing my bit for breast cancer awareness (and let's be honest it's everywhere in Asda throughout October) and not really give it much thought. Then BANG! 2 years ago I heard the words "it's breast cancer" well feck me, doesn't your perspective change then.

One mastectomy later, a 6 inch scar where there used to be a breast, surgeries, more scars and I can tell you it certainly isn't pink, it isn't fluffy and it damn well isn't funny.

Then I got to thinking about Tickled Pink, just how much of the profit of all the products sold actually goes to breast cancer awareness or cancer research? Not the whole lot I would hazard a guess, the supermarket will take a cut, will it be gift aided? Now the sheer volume of products sold means the donation will look huge, but not as huge as if everyone donated what they would pay for these products directly to BCC or cancer research - the amount would be phenomenal.

Please don't buy into the crap, it's a supermarkets way of getting you to buy products you normally wouldn't so they make more money out of the misery that breast cancer causes and all they do is wrap it up with a pink and fluffy name.

I'm a survivor. Don't turn October pink in my name, donate straight to breast cancer care or cancer research or sponsor an event. That's how to make the biggest difference. There are plenty cancer charities out there. Put your money where it will be most effective, and instead of changing your Facebook status to a bra colour (really offensive if someone has no breasts), change it to one that says "For breast cancer awareness month I have donated £XXX to BCC or cancer research".

Thank you,
~ Joanne

Dear Boris?

Possibly not the best start to a letter – not sure whether to address it to Dear Boris, Dear Mr Johnson or Dear Mr Boris Johnson. Mr Mayor? Hmm. So, Dear Boris seems simplest! ‘Yo Boris’ just seemed rude. Bo-Jo just seems…well…let’s not go there eh?

Anyway – Mr BJ Mayor Type Person! We need and would really appreciate your help. In 2008, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer – the really crappy kind that sort of tries it’s best to kill you as soon as possible. BUT, I did the chemo thing [nuked the little suckers], I did the ‘omg I have no hair’ thing. And I did the ‘wth? I am very scared’ thing after treatment. Cancer does the most peculiar and irritating things to one’s head. But I am now doing the Survivor thing. Bring THAT on! Oh – and the cyclist thing. Lycra? Moi? Good Lord…

Anyway – onward and upward to the Now.

My husband decided [in his wisdom] to get me to sign up for a 400km cycle across Kenya once I had recovered. I signed up in a moment of madness in 2010 [after a couple of glasses of fortifying Oyster Bay]. Since then, I have never looked back. Having cycled 400km across Kenya in 2011, including the Rift Valley, I am now cycling 400km across Cuba in October this year.

These cycles are organised by a woman called Ann Frampton. Ann is a teeny weeny anti cancer bomb – the word ‘inspirational’ is overused and worn. But in this instance, it’s the only word to use. Ann is truly our inspiration – she climbs up and down Ben Nevis – she’s cycled across India, China, Kenya – she’s stormed through the desert burning her feet. She has encouraged literally thousands of women to join her cycles and treks to raise money and awareness for these three charities. Ann is a cervical cancer survivor herself. But that does not define her – she is an incredible person, doing incredible things.

But ‘Ah yes’, you cry – ‘lot’s of people are doing this kind of thing’. And you would be right! [of course – you’re Boris]. But our next challenge is interesting. For you.

I know you support cycling. So – read on young man!

We are doing the very FIRST women only cycle through London at night. It’s called the Women v Cancer Ride the Night.  We will cycle 100km through London to raise funds and awareness for Ovarian Cancer Action, Jo’s Cervical Trust and Breast Cancer Care. We will stay awake all day, cycle all night and curse the very idea of it on the afternoon after we finish. BUT – we will have done something incredible. We’ll have raised lots of money. And we’ll have raised awareness of the symptoms of all three cancers. Which means we’ll have saved at the very least – ONE woman’s life. And we will totter about on stiff legs for a week afterward. Chuckling all the while. Because it will be hilarious!

There will be 2000 women on this cycle. And we would like your good self to lead us out. Boris and 2000 women. How can you resist?

Oh, and if you could bring Arnie, that would be such fun ;)

Please get in touch – either through this blog by making a comment, or facebook or twitter. Or, answer Ann’s letter, which is winging it’s way toward you as you read this. Or call Ann on 0845 408 2698! Your People could talk to her People!

Thanks for reading – we’re looking forward to hearing from you!

7 weeks, 2 days, 1 hour and counting!

The Kenya crew, plus Kate and Rachel.

Yesterday we did the Great Shakespeare 100km challenge ride, as a sort of training exercise for Cuba. The FH decided to give it a miss this year, so it was just Kate and me driving up to Stratford on Saturday afternoon for an early Sunday start. Missed him being there, but he must have had prescience! What chaos…

We hung the bikes on the back of the car, Kate left her dogs with various sitters, we stuffed all our belongings in and trundled off for what should have been a simple 3 hour drive up. We were so well prepared!! Ha.

On BOTH sides of the motorway there were burning vehicles [incredible], so the resultant traffic jam added 45 minutes to the trip. It was like being in a Mad Max film…at 2 miles per hour. Thank goodness we packed snacks! The bike rack became a bit rackety, so we pulled off, sorted it and and set off again. Two minutes after getting back onto the motorway I felt like someone was stubbing our their cigarette on the back of my thigh! More pulling off [rather FRANTICALLY] only to discover that a rather large red ant [apparently this was the Police speed enforcement ant] had crawled onto my dress at the sort-out-the-bike-rack stop, and was merrily biting the hell out of me! Suffice to say he died and we sallied forth once more into the breach!

Stopped for a coffee at Strensham Services – OMG!! All the Walmart people were there! 8 coach loads of them! Suffice to say we made a very swift rush to the Costa coffee, where we were served something rather resembling mud in a giant cardboard soup bowl. Rushed out into the car park, and in the frenzy to unlock the car before we were beamed up, I and managed to pop the boot, to which the cycle rack is attached. To open and slam it we’d have had to remove bikes and rack…never going to happen at this point. So we drove the rest of the way with the ‘your boot is open, fool!’ light on. By this point we actually didn’t care. We finally arrived at my friend Loraine’s lovely house in the Cotswolds at about 8.30. In one piece, astoundingly enough…

We had a fab dinner provided by Loraine and a catch up and all got to bed at quite a reasonable hour. Up at 6.00 to leave for the start, toast, coffee and bananas for brekkie then Loraine backed into me in the drive! Luckily just a scuff [bring out the T-Cut] and after a bit of manoeuvring we were off.

Met up with the Crew at the hotel where the cycle starts, everyone was rather jolly, and we were all looking forward to the days ride.

LITTLE DID WE KNOW! For some reason the day was torturous. Cycling into a head wind most of the time, which sort of takes the fun out of it. Instead of whizzing down hills, one cycles down them...at 9 miles per hour. Frustrating. And tiring.

Plus 5 million miles of wheat fields and cute cottages make one a tad disoriented…being in the Cotswolds for too long makes one feel like one has taken a hallucinogenic drug…

Kate and I decided to do The Hill – Larkspur...it’s horrible. No idea what we were thinking. It’s a 21% grade as far as I can remember. I was going so slowly that when a car came down I fell off into a hedge and have some lovely scratches to show for it. Thanks very much to the woman who raced by me shouting ‘get out of the way’ – which I tried to do and fell backwards. But she didn’t stop to see if I had died or not. Probably just as well, as I was a tad peeved at that point! Could have been messy…

Note to Cotswolds people – it’s FAR too cute there, and your roads are terrible! Full of holes and strewn with gravel. And cyclists heh heh

Kate keeled over at the second feed stop, a victim of stuffing far too much cake and bread at the first one. So we lounged about there for a while while she recovered, smoking and drinking coffee, supplied by the amazing ladies who, every year, are there smiling and supplying fab grub to over 600 cyclists.

We finally lost the will to cycle after some fellow told us there were only 4 km to go, when actually there were still 12 to go! Met up with one of the other Cuba girls and we had a Team Spazz Out, then a mad jelly baby scoffing attack, girded our loins and got going – to find we only had another corner then it was 400 yards to the finish! Total disorientation.

But even with all the delays and chaos, I still beat my time from last year by half an hour, so it’s not all bad! Plus we DID drive for 8 hours, sleep for 5 and then cycle for 6. I’d say that’s a good training day, as we were still functioning this morning!

The Great Shakespeare Cycle is the best organised cycle we’ve done. This is the third year I’ve done it. I forget how hard it is each time. It’s so well organised, you get your time chip, excellent food, go out like the Tour and the marshalling and signage are brilliant. I’d recommend anyone to do it, plus it raises funds for an excellent charity.

If we do it again though, it’ll be a full weekend job, so we can rest before and afterward! Only 7 weeks to go until Cuba! So next weekend we will be mainly cycling up and down hills! In DEVON!

women rule!

Between freelance work, which is buzzing merrily along at last [fingers firmly crossed about THAT - look! I even placed an advert! - my self confidence is at LAST reappearing.] And fund raising for Cuba and waiting for my check-up and trying [with limited success I might add] to TRAIN for Cuba, I haven’t much thought about an update on here. But due to some gentle nagging from various parties, here I am again.

I think the most important thing to the majority of followers of this rather lazily updated blog is that I am still NED! I had my check-up on the 11 June – it was the last 6 monthly check up I ever hope to have. In August, I reach my ‘5 year all clear’ [scary!] so my next one is in a year. Changing over to an annual check up is strangely disturbing. Like letting go of the hand that is supporting you. One wobbles a bit at first. I am still wavering between relief and panic. Mostly panic. Which I will get over. I still have a large risk of recurrence – but I also still have my amazing cancer team at the RD&E. So. Not thinking too much about that.

In other news, I have made it to the semi-finals of the Venus Awards! Devon page here. My category is sponsored by The Old Bag Company. For the Inspirational Woman category, there were 307 nominations. I am so touched to have made it through to the semi finals! Amazing. I am not quite sure how many semi-finalists there are, but at the end of the day, just making it through AND being nominated at all is such an honour. Thank you Rita and sundry other friends for nominating me!

And I am cycling! Training for the 400km across Cuba – I even have a new bike, kindly sold to me at a stupid price by my fellow cyclist, Kate. This weekend coming, we will be sallying forth to do the 60 mile Force Cancer Charity ride. I am convinced I haven’t trained enough, but hey ho – we will do it! Check out the shirt design by Chameleon Design! This is Kate and me at the training weekend in the Cotswolds. Good fun!

Other good news is that I have beaten my fundraising target! Thank you SO much all of you who went to brunches, bought raffle tickets, appeared at events and donated raffle prizes. It does mean a lot to me, and I note every single donation, no matter how small – every little helps! Thank you all!

the Venus awards!

Well! I have been nominated for the Venus Awards 'Devon Inspirational Woman'. Startled [to say the very least] - and quite chuffed! I can’t think I've ever been ‘nominated’ for anything before in my life. How flattering is this? Very.

So, I've been looking into this award thing properly [as at first I thought it was spam!] - initially I thought it was some kind of joke - but it’s not.

*IF* I were to win this Venus Awards category, it would allow me lots of latitude for publicity etc and raising awareness. As you all know from my constant blathering on here, I am on a mission to raise both funds for research and awareness of the symptoms of ovarian cancer. This would give me access to LOTS of business women! Which would give me the opportunity to share a lot of awareness. Bring it on.

Why not go to this web site and nominate an inspirational woman for this award [you need to select 'Inspirational Woman' from the list of Categories]. 

2013 Women v Cancer cycle from Havana to Santa Clara, Cuba

View Larger Map

We're all gearing up for the Cuba cycle now that the weather has improved a bit. Training has begun in earnest! The Facebook page is full of cycle rides and average speeds and worries. I thought I'd better update the actual map [I forgot to do it when I updated the itinerary].

This map of the Cuba cycle includes the bus transfer from Jaguey Grande [+/- 1.5 hours] to Cienfuegos to stay overnight. If you’re interested, the 'actual' cycle maps are on Mapmyride, split into three. Day 01 to 03, then we transfer by bus, then day 04, then days 05 to 06, as we have another bus transfer on the morning of day 05.

Best get out on the bike!!

Day 01 to 03 MAP 01

Day 04 MAP 02

Day 05 to 06 MAP 03

here we go again!

Today was the first ‘proper’ training cycle for the Cuba ride in October. I’ve been to a few spin classes, but even though they are brilliant for stamina, they are nothing compared to a road cycle. No wind, no rain etc. Check out the Cuba Creature in my Camelback – I really need a name for him. He is going to be photographed all over the place, a bit like Where’s Wally.

The FH and I cycled down to Exmouth and back, roughly 23 miles, at below average speed [for us] of 11.5 miles per hour. But, not too bad for a first run, as we had a head wind all the way out, and then we had it all the way back plus rain. And cold. My hands were freezing! Horrible – but I am glad I did it, as I have been very concerned about my ability to do Cuba. I almost got to the point of thinking I wouldn’t do it at all.

I have been fund raising like a maniac [probably driving everyone I know completely insane] and as always, I’ve had amazing support. At the moment, I am at 86% of my target, which is £5060.00 – just ten pounds more than I raised for the Kenya cycle. I’d really like to beat that! But even if I don’t, I’ve raised over the required minimum of £2900.00; at the moment I have raised £4,366.30. So now all I have to worry about is the training!

Doing this second fund raiser has been difficult and exhausting. I also have a job, and as a freelance designer, I am constantly glued to the computer. So social networking is a breeze, as I do it in between jobs…but ‘actual’ fund raising is pretty stressful. Organising people always is. BUT, it’s gone well! And, my friend Lindsey is doing an auction of one of her amazing paintings to raise funds too! Check this out – a beautiful painting she did whilst convalescing from surgery. The auction is on FaceBook here: https://www.facebook.com/events/266147843521944/

Going back to the worry of doing Cuba – it has taken me 4 years to get back on my feet regarding my little freelance business. One year after diagnosis, my ongoing contract ended – gave me an excellent lesson – do not have only one client! Since then I have been networking, and now I actually know local people – even road names! I have built up a little client base, and they are all lovely. So I don’t want to risk losing them. But, I have to train.

So, weekends are now Designated Cycling times, and I am hoping to fit something in during the week if possible. At least after today’s cycle I remembered that I CAN cycle! And I WILL do Cuba.

On other things; I don’t have my check-up appointment. Shriek! What used to happen was one would make the appointment on the way out from the last one. Nice and simple. The sweet reception lady would give one a choice of times and dates. Fill in the card…boom, sorted. Then you could just forget about it until it was due.

NOW, some prat has changed the system  [I’m hoping they have a headache for a year actually] and we have to wait for an appointment to come through the post. What?? So, when will it come? Where is it?? I am having nightmares about missing it, dreams about calling and asking when it is… I need to know NOW. So that I don’t have to worry about it. Thinking I may call and ask – but it’s so unnecessary! The old system worked perfectly. Bah. Additional stress. Fools who changed the system. Slap to the head those people!!

So, mad check up attacks aside, please buy a raffle ticket! I am holding an on-line raffle here if you are on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/128509787338341/

If not, to buy tickets, please just donate to my JUSTGIVING account. Tickets are £2.50 per strip [five tickets]. I will email [please leave your email with justgiving – they do NOT share it] message or post your ticket numbers on the event wall and enter you in the draw. The draw will take place on the 6th May. The winner will be notified by email/ phone or through Facebook.

THE PRIZE is two nights accommodation with breakfast at The Waterman’s Arms Country Inn, Bow Bridge [dogs are welcome too!], kindly donated by the Waterman's Arms. PLUS!! A meal for two with a bottle of wine kindly donated by Scotties Electrical. This is worth a *minimum* of £250.00!! So, if you fancy a weekend away in Devon this year for the price of a raffle ticket, get buying.

 

Thanks for your support, and good luck!

it’s THAT month again

Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. The disease is Ovarian cancer [clue is in the title] and the PLAN is to make women AWARE OF THE SYMPTOMS. Because many women aren’t, and as a result, they are misdiagnosed, and lives that could be saved – well, they’re lost.

This sucks.

So, ladies, get your sensible heads on. We have a responsibility for our own health, so check out the symptoms. Yes, it’s a bore. Yes, it’s a little frightening when you read them. And YES you SHOULD read them and think ‘yikes, I have that!’.

They are remarkably similar to IBS. They are easy to mistake for everyday tiredness. They are subtle, but also, not so subtle, because they are NOT a norm for your body. Listen to your body – if any of the following are persistent for 3 WEEKS OR MORE, get your little self to the GP. ASK the question. Most of the time, these symptoms are nothing to worry about, but if they are PERSISTANT, then get them checked out.

• unexplained BLOATING
• FEELING FULL quickly or loss of appetite
• pelvic or stomach PAIN
• needing to pee urgently or more frequently than normal

The chances are it’s nothing serious – but then again, it could be. So, be sensible.

Research has found that over half of ovarian cancer cases are misdiagnosed. According to Target Ovarian Cancer, up to 500 lives could be saved if the disease was diagnosed much earlier.

“Early diagnosis is at the core of our £750 million cancer strategy and plays a vital role in our aim to improve cancer survival rates and save an extra 5,000 lives every year by 2014.

This is why last week we launched the Be Clear on Cancer campaign to raise public awareness of the key symptoms of ovarian cancer and encourage those with the symptoms to visit their GP.”

– DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH SPOKESMAN

So – get with the program!!

On a more cheerful note, I have reached my £3000 target for the Cuba cycle! I have a fabulous event coming up on Easter Sunday, so I am now going to try to beat what I raised last year. If you would like to help, please donate here – every penny counts!!

Thanks to everyone who has helped me! Especially my Bella :)

whatever words I say…

will not help…

this post may be a bit demented. Today has been a bitch. BITCH!!

today I have been thinking about the day my friend Gaynor died. Of ovarian cancer – it simply grabbed her, shook her and didn't let go. It was like a monster. It IS a monster – but on this occasion, it was more monsterish than usual.

She fought like a tiger. And she really did; she did all the right things – green tea, the 'right' food, lots of exercise etc. She was a tiny little person with a ton of energy - she wore amazing shoes – she gave wonderful advice. She was a good friend to me in the short time we knew one another. 

What the fuck happened? Oh. Yes. Ovarian Cancer happened.

I am amazed – more than a whole year has passed since she was alive?? No. But – yes. Today was odd – I spent it thinking of her death – usually thoughts of Gaynor are of her life. She made a huge impression on me, helping me with my confidence with just one sentence.

But today my thoughts  were of death. Gaynor's death. And how unfair things can be sometimes.

louder than silence louder than bells…

Laurel – where are you my friend?

Laurel with Diane :)

2013

Far too much rambling going on here on this blog…but I wanted to say how grateful I am for a year so far where the worst thing that happened was I have had [and still have!] a virus. Coughing my guts up! But it’s the first time for years [literally] that we’ve been able to just worry about the usual things. Like coughs and colds.

And like how we’re going to lose the 3 kilos we gained from stuffing our faces with too much cheese and biscuits at Christmas!

Anyone with cancer who is reading this – have hope. Sometimes it takes ages, but sometimes things DO turn around. But it doesn’t just happen on it’s own unfortunately. And there’s lots of battering along the way usually too. But eventually, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I was diagnosed with stage 3B in 2008. Not a lot of hope of living more than 5 years – but I HAVE.

So far, so good.

why the hell not?

I have been walking around my head a little bit this evening. Having a ‘cancery’ attack.  Feeling at once sad and happy – cross and so very, very grateful. But sad. People have asked me why I am doing yet another one of these fund raising cycles. Why? Ah…million dollar question. Firstly, why the hell not? It raises money to save lives. It forces me to get fitter [well, the FH forces me actually]. I am NOT a cyclist really. I struggle. But it’s worth it! People who have had cancer really need to try and be fit.

And. The funds go to research. For ovarian, breast and cervical cancers. Of course, the most important one to me is ovarian, not only because I had it, but because cervical and breast cancer are pretty much out there. Women KNOW about the symptoms, thanks to the massive efforts of the breast cancer girls, and certainly Jade Goody brought cervical cancer to the forefront during her battle with it. Plus there are tried and tested tests for both. NOT so for ovarian cancer.

So. Ovarian cancer? We are still struggling to get women to know the symptoms, and the treatment today is as near as damn it the same as what it was 30 years ago. Incredibly.

Another reason is the death of so many friends – killed by ovarian cancer – because we don’t know enough. We don’t know how to save them. Diane Davis Waller, Gaynor Hall, sweet Jayne Armstrong – Tammy Woodward, BJ Gallagher, Patty Higgins, Thelma Hugget, Kelly Godfrey, Jo McGowan…on and on…they live in me, but I have Survivors Guilt – a ridiculous thing! I KNOW all of them are jumping for joy for me, that I am still here to bitch and moan and laugh and cry – but still. I miss them, I miss the hilarious conversations we had, the laughs. The cries. They were my friends. So it breaks my heart that they are gone. And yes, I feel guilty that I am still alive – hence, I feel I need to pay back for that blessing. 

So I do the ride for them too. And for the women I know who are still struggling with treatment – long days of chemo, terrifying phone calls about bad results…different treatments for recurrence. Hateful. I need to do something for them.

And no, it’s not a ‘jolly’. It’s HARD. We spend over a year begging for money. We train – which is difficult to fit into busy lives. We all have jobs, kids, husbands etc. THEY are the support team. Thanks to them, we can do this.

And we cycle up bloody mountains! But the camaraderie of the other women gets us up them – the whole thing is an incredibly emotional experience. It brings one to tears when someone that you know that can’t afford it, puts five pounds into the pot. The messages on my justgiving page almost always make me cry. People are incredibly generous and kind.

So, Sceptics – I am doing this cycle because I want to. Because I want to honour my friends. Because I NEED to give something back. Because I can. And some of my friends can’t. So I’m cycling for them.

If you go to Costa for a coffee and cake, it could cost you almost £6.00 – could you have one at home, and simply donate the fiver to this amazing cause? Just once. Miss Costa for a day…it’d mean a lot! Costa don’t actually need the money – we do.

Thanks. Very much.

Please donate here if you can?

Updated Cuba 400km cycle itinerary 3-11th Oct 2013

Oops! So, after cycling 400km across Kenya, I have now been press ganged into cycling 400km across Cuba!
I have to raise a minimum of £3000.00 to qualify to do the cycle.
If you would like to help me raise that for Ovarian Cancer Action,  Jo’s Cervical Trust and Breast Cancer Care,  please donate here - the smallest amount really does help. Thank you.

Cuba itinerary REVISED – 3rd to 11th October, 2013

See here for a map of the Cuba cycle.
DAY 1
Flight: London Gatwick Airport to Havana [Jose Marti International Airport]
9 hours and 30 minutes – see customs regs here Arrive late afternoon. Transfer [approx. 1 hour] directly to the Hotel Villa Los Cocos in Jibacoa Beach. Event briefing and buffet dinner.

http://www.nickdemarcofoto.com/

DAY 2 
5 hours cycling [approximately 70km]
Jibacoa Beach to Matanzas.

Early start – 6.00 [not too bad!], bike fitting after brekkie [taking my trusty saddle!], and a warm up.

The first days riding takes us along the coast road before turning inland and UP HILL [no doubt an undulating one…], through the beautiful Yumuri Valley. The valley roads are compacted earth through tropical scenery and palm trees. We will stop to regroup before crossing the main Havana-to-Varadero road, onto the Old m

ain road, which is now a sleepy backwater. We will continue along the mostly flat valley floor, stopping for lunch at the Rancho Gaviota, a typical country restaurant.

After lunch we cycle along tarred roads to Matanzas. UP a bloody great 800 metre hill. Hoorah! The itinerary says that at the top we ‘regroup’ – read that as ‘collapse in a heap’.

Then we cycle off to René Fraga Park and enjoy spectacular views over the Bay of Matanzas. We then cycle down to the city and our final 8km stretch along the bay to our overnight accommodation at Hotel Canimao.

DAY 3 
5 – 6  hours cycling [approximately 85km]
Matanzas to the Peninsula of Zapata

Today we cycle through Matanzas and out onto the Carretera Central,  which was once the main road connecting Cuba's capital city to Santiago, which will give us a feel for what was once Havana. Then on to the Santiago Road. The road is now a secondary route and although busy by Cuban standards, it remains remarkably free of fast moving traffic. [Oh good – so we won't be hit by speeding juggernauts at any rate…]

The undulating road takes us through farming communities and we share the road with horse drawn carts, vintage American cars and vintage Soviet tractors.

We will travel through what  was once prime sugar cane land. About 20km into the ride we will reach Triumvirato, where a monument commemorates a slave uprising, reminding us that Cuba was one of the last countries to relinquish slavery.

Triumvirato, Matanzas - Carlota, leader of a slave rebellion

We trundle on through the citrus groves and stop after about 60km at Pedro Betancourt, for some lunch. Then onward for 25kms to Jaguey Grande. Here we halt for the day and transfer [+/- 1.5 hours] to Cienfuegos to stay overnight.

DAY 4 
6 - 7 hours cycling [approximately 96km]

Cienfuegos to Trinidad

The most challenging day of the cycle. The road son begins to ‘undulate’ [we know this word of old from Kenya – it translates roughly as ‘goes up. and up. and up…forever…’]. We join the main road linking Cienfuegos to Trinidad with the Escambray Mountains on our left. This road ‘undulates’ for a further 40km. We stop for lunch at La Vega. [we fall over at La Vega]…

Then a relatively flat 30kms to Trinidad, then some short sharp hills bring us into the town. We turn off the main road and head toward La Boca, a small fishing village. The last 10kms to our hotel are along the coast.

DAY 5
6 hours cycling [approximately 77km]

Trinidad to Sancti Spíritus

Early start, to ensure time to visit Trinidad. We transfer by bus for an escorted walking tour of the city [what? no bike??] We finish the tour at the Plaza Santa Ana [ah – there they are] and collect our bikes again. Today is sugar cane country. We cycle from Trinidad [woohoo – tobacco country!], one of Cuba's most charming Colonial cities. The road undulates past fields of cane, once Cuba's most important crop. Trinidad and the surrounding area was extremely wealthy in the 18th and 19th centuries, thanks to sugar production. However, once slavery was abolished, sugar production dropped and Trinidad's importance declined. It is now a sleepy provincial town full of live music and beautiful Colonial architecture.

After lunch we continue on to Sancti Spíritus where we stay overnight.

DAY 6
6 - 7 hours cycling [approximately 82km]
Sancti Spíritus to Santa Clara

Our last day of cycling is relatively easy compared to the previous days. We leave Sancti Spíritus and go back to Carretera Central.

More undulating roads. Hmm.

Picnic lunch along the way, sounds grand – then to Santa Clara to regroup for the final stretch. Santa Clara is famed for being the location of the most decisive battle between Batista and the Revolutionary Forces when Che Guevara and his men ambushed a train full of soldiers loyal to Batista. Che's successful ambush effectively defeated Batista's forces and resulted in the dictator fleeing Cuba the following day. A spectacular mausoleum commemorates Che's outstanding contribution to Cuba's revolution.

Our finish line will be at the Che Guevara Mausoleum.

Then: Cuba Libre time! Chuck the bikes at a random truck and run away as fast as we can to our hotel transfer bus!

DAY 7 Santa Clara to Havana

After brekkie, we drive to Havana. We have lunch in a local restaurant before taking a city tour which will include a visit to Revolution Square with the iconic images of Che Guevara, Camilo Cienfuegos and José Martí. Then we take a guided walking tour of the Old Town of Havana.

In the evening we have a celebration dinner to recall the highlights of the challenge we have [hopefully!] just completed.

DAY 8
Return to London, unless one has extended one’s flight.

This morning is 'free' [lots of packing and running about!] then we check out of the hotel at around midday before leaving for the airport and flying home to the UK.

From experience in Kenya, this will also be a very emotional day – many friendships are created on the cycle and it seems awful to part – but we don't really! We keep in touch – and these friendships are the kind to last a lifetime. Some of us are staying on for a few days to really ‘see’ Havana, or go to the beach resorts – I am staying on in Havana, so boot sales for raising the cash,  here I come! Too good an opportunity to miss, so I will afford it. The sad thing is that the FH won’t be there to enjoy it with me.

But he’ll be there to cheer when I get home :)

1. Pinar del Río
2. Artemisa
3. Havana
4. Mayabeque
5. Matanzas
6. Cienfuegos
7. Villa Clara
8. Sancti Spíritus
9. Ciego de Ávila
10. Camagüey
11. Las Tunas
12. Granma
13. Holguín
14. Santiago de Cuba
15. Guantánamo
16. Isla de la Juventud

Cuba Cuba Cuba!

Ooo! Excited! It looks like it’s going to be hot, wet and a tad muddy in Cuba! Not to mention bumpy! This video is Fern Britton when she did her Cuba cycle – and this is what I am doing in October! Having watched this, I am now quite excited, as it looks like rather an adventure. Probably ought to get the bike out and start training…plus remember to pack plenty of plasters!

Here is the itinerary for this amazing charity cycle. If you’d like to help me raise the funds to qualify to go, please donate here? I need to raise a minimum of £2900 by August – watch this space for event details. Think salsa and golf!

All the funds I raise go to research and awareness for Ovarian Cancer Action, Jo’s Cervical Trust and Breast Cancer Care. Thanks!

 

oo looky!

Just recently I’ve noticed a lot of people making lovely jewellery to raise funds for the Cuba cycle. We are raising funds for Ovarian Cancer Action, Jo’s cervical Trust and Breast Cancer Care.

This is my favourite so far though! [sorry girls!]. It’s a Bag Charm that raises funds for Ovacome. Ovacome is a charity founded on personal experience. The founder, Sarah Dickinson, was herself an ovarian cancer sufferer, and wanted other women to be able to access clear, reliable information, support and advice. The work they do today still reflects her vision. They provide support and information for women affected by ovarian cancer, their families and friends. It is free to join.

To buy one of these charms, you need to go to Facebook, HERE. The page is called Blossom, and the charm is only a tenner, of which 100% of the money goes to Ovacome. Nice!

In March, it’s Ovarian Cancer Awareness month – why not buy one as a gift that helps raise awareness, donates money for research but is a totally scrummy present at the same time?

awareness

I am raising money for ovarian, cervical and breast cancer research. Please donate if you can – every penny really does help. I need to raise a minimum of K3 to qualify to do the 400km across Cuba in 2013.

And noooo – this is NOT a 'jolly'! Getting up at 5.00 in the morning to cycle up and down hills all day for 5 days on the trot; staying in a different place every night [it's sort of: pack, cycle, unpack, pack, cycle, unpack - daily!]…is fun, but it's tough. As it should be, or how could we ask for sponsorship? Rest assured - we do earn our sponsorship money :) So if you can, please spare a bit of cash for my Cuba fund? Thanks!

Last weekend we did our third 100km cycle of the year in the Cotswolds. It turned out to be 67miles! It's a brilliantly organised ride for the Shakespeare Hospice, and the Kenya girls use it as a 'meeting up' ride and for training. It's through incredibly picturesque countryside, and has some MONSTER hills. But, stupidly, I didn't train well this time, so I really didn't enjoy the cycling as much as usual. BUT we made it and got our next medal! If the FH hadn't been with me I probably would have sloped off into the nearest pub after 30 miles. My knee was agony, and I had lost the will to pedal for the last 10 miles.

This is before the cycle, quite chilled at the Youth Hostel – I was slightly more frazzled AFTERWARD, as I'd had no sleep as well as no training. A lot of noisy Americans arrived home at 2.00 in the morning and proceeded to bellow merrily until 3.00. Happily, they went instantly silent upon a polite request from me. Impressive manners – I'm sure they thought they were the only people staying there? Who knows…I got about 3 hours sleep.

And here's a bit of fun – featured below with my fellow survivor, Michelle, in the Ovarian Cancer Action newsletter! A bit about the Kenya cycle. Another one of those where I read the text and thought 'eh? I didn't say that!'. I think I said far too much and they had to précis it to fit just some of my waffle in…

And here is another friend, Tracey [her blog is HERE], in the papers! I know we probably seem a tad tedious, banging on about cancery stuff – but if ONE woman's life is saved through her reading about the symptoms in the paper or in a newsletter or magazine, or seeing us cycling past in the middle of the jungle and wondering 'WHY' enough to enquire…well, that's gotta be good eh?

result!! and no, not footy or tennis

I waited just 7 days [which seemed like 10 years] for my CT scan result – but well worth the wait, as my scan is clear. I had an after hours call from my lovely nurse, Gail [Mr Renninson is on his hols] – first thing she said after letting me know who she was is that she had GOOD news. What a pro :) The instant one hears that it's 'The Hospital' – well, the brain goes haywire. Waiting for results makes ones head a gigantic maelstrom – so, 'good news' was a great thing to hear.

If it had been bad news I would have had to ask her to call back when the FH was home. Nothing like bad news about a cancer thing to make one's mind a complete blank.

BUT! Seems my CT scan is completely cancer free. Rah!!

So I am off to the GP like everyone else, to see what the hell is going on with my back. I have been wondering if I have early Osteoarthritis - maybe due to the chemo which can exacerbate that kind of crap. It's in the family and the chemo amplifies any existing problem, so, better to try find treatment now? Or at east know what to do that will help NOT have this. OR, better yet, I have a muscle problem from sitting in the wrong position on my bike ;)

But in the meantime - bloody brilliant result eh?? Chuffed!

Oh, and one more medal for the [terrifyingly manic and traffic infested] Nightrider – and then, 10 days later we did the rather hilly Force 100km challenge – so, another medal :)  I am Mrs Medal heh heh – amazed! Here we are at the end, looking rather windswept and interesting…

Now we are training for the 100km Great Shakespeare ride…argh! So, please buy a raffle ticket! All monies to my fund – thanks!