Friday, 20 April 2012


candles Why is it that candles always have more wax than wick? Life is full of these little random questions isn't it? While you're waiting for the bus, having your  hair done, getting the washing out of the machine...the brain is constantly asking asking asking - it needs to know. Which can be rather exhausting, depending on your brain.

Mine for example, never stops - I am not sure if it's because I am an artist or if if it's because I am inquisitive. Perhaps a combination of the two? Maybe everyone's brain is like this? Either way, my brain never ever stops. Even when I am asleep it is churning away, presenting me with astounding nightmares, amazing dreams and shockingly realistic scenarios...which I sometimes wake up thinking are real. Ugh!

The last few weeks have been a frenzy as usual - March was ovarian cancer awareness month, and of course we all try our best to get info 'out there'. And I did. Try my best.
Now it's April. Already! I haven't been doing much training as the weather has been ghastly. Oops. Not good and making me worried - I really want to enjoy the Nightrider. Best get cracking eh?

Monday, 2 April 2012

nervous for nothing

Well, I was getting more and more nervous about appearing on 'Lorraine' tomorrow, but they shelved it! The girls at Ovarian Cancer Action, the girls in the Facebook group and I were a bit disappointed at missing a good opportunity for the awareness campaign, but actually I was quite relieved - live telly? Scary!

So another day maybe. Apparently we are 'on file'. And I was trying to post this here yesterday but YouTube was being awkward...

This was outside the Port Royal after our cycle. Making the most of the beautiful weather! The swan was not impressed at our invasion of his space.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Cycle path rage

Today the FH and I did 17.5 miles/av. sp 12.5mph / mx sp. 26mph [love those down hills! hate those UP hills!]- ended up at the Imperial after the proper cycling, which was amazing! Full of chirpy students and really sunny :)

Then we nipped in to the Port Royal Best to see Carlos on the way home...lots of swans there & more sunshine...a really nice afternoon. A bit of 'we don't care' cycling ;)

NOT the best training day, as wine and cycling don't really mix, but hey ho - as we are expecting SNOW we thought we'd make the best of the sunny weather while we could after we'd done a few miles. Sitting next to the canal in the sun is one of the fab bonuses of living in Exeter. Plus we have excellent cycle paths!

Which today were full of  people with kids. Either the parents don't teach the kids left from right [as in: STAY TO THE LEFT you small person! Oh, and you large person!] or the kids just don't pay attention grr - I have smashed my knee a good one today, avoiding a tiny girl on a scooter. She went bumbling casually right across the path, and I nearly drove into her. Shock horror and cursing. I jumped off the bike just in time, bashing my knee a good one in the process...the little girl was a darling - she turned back and said: 'I'm so sorry' - bless her... Wasn't really her fault - she's a child, and children don't understand about big fat adults zooming toward them on unwieldy bikes! But it would have been rather nice if her parents had explained to her about staying on the LEFT!! Stupid parents.

So my knee is now twice it's usual chubby size and hurts like a very hurty thing. I am sure it'll be a lovely shade of black and blue tomorrow. Great!

It's not about me

homebanner-its_not_about_me What a week. I went to my BNI meeting on Wednesday and after being unmercifully ragged about the YOU magazine article, one of the members blurted out privately to me that a friend of his had died that week of ovarian cancer - in one week! And just before her wedding.
I almost threw up in his lap. He was sitting next to me. Fortunately I didn't but it was a close call. My skin went cold - horrible. It was 7.00 in the morning! It turns out that the woman in question had had ovarian cancer 4 years back, and been in chemo ever since. Her story is here. It's tragic. But I was relieved when I read it - sad to say but I felt better knowing she hadn't been killed by this in only a week -  that would have been too much...

Other friends in the OC facebook group are going through hell. Rising CA 125's, CT scans...random things that are scary to say the least. They are my friends. It's hard to read their messages and not want to jump or a plane or train and go and see them...sadly, it's not possible. And it's hard to deal with. I just want them all to be well. Or at the very least, to achieve remission for some time.

And that's the worst thing - some women never get into remission. That so sucks!! And that's why I am so concerned with raising funds for research!

I get the impression that some people have the idea that I am 'self aggrandising' with all this 'Awareness' stuff [radio, TV, newspaper etc] - just for them/you to know; I would rather have never ever been heard of by anyone than have had cancer.

But as I HAVE had it, and as it may kill me eventually, I WILL take every opportunity to raise awareness, and I WILL try to get it out there as much as I can. Think what you want - as long as there's a chance of even ONE woman being saved/warned/woken up - I will be there.
This is not about 'me' - this is about what I can do to help by being out there. And I am simply trying my best to do just that. Things like live TV terrify me - but I will do it, because an ordinary person like me could just make someone think that 'one' thought that may save her life. 
I hope to help women like me - women who have no IDEA about this insidious disease. Women who could survive a diagnosis if they get diagnosed early enough.

So, no, it's not about me - it's about being AWARE!!