trying - again....

here i am - just me + Lily;
my beautiful Bear has left the building...so at this point, my days are filled with tears

unusual for me - but so much has changed now

just looking back over the last few years on this blog
it is hard - just to try to read lines without even stopping for a moment - i cannot read like you are doing - at speed - recalling every word even if you read 40 pages - you will still want to Get To The End...
if i read 3 lines i have to stop - sit back - look away...then carry on if i have to mindset of the day - some days?
better to be outside in the the cold, trying not to think...

- some of this [below] is quite confusing [even to me....]
plus, i  created another separate blog when i thought i would be All OK - but that isn't very useful, as my reading / writing + comprehension are all something that make it hard for me to get the correct words / the way of explaining things etc
i really thought - for so long - i would be back to Me....

unfortunately i have started to understand [properly] what really happened to me.

for many, they look down + see nothing other that what it looks like...not the reality of what it really is

see below - 5 years back [after Lily's little face] 
ALMOST published on 05/11/2020 - handily, i couldn't work out how to publish it...

i may just begin to use this one again, as it doesn't need changing at all, whereas the second blog gives different fonts / pages etc etc - too much chaos...i become very frustrated

so - we'll see. it is not like i have anyone to chat to, so putting totally tedious waffle on here?
why not why not why not...​

"11/2020

Do your post heere ... then preview , change accordingly and then publish :)

:(

ok

goog;e have f**ked the other thing by the look of it .. google do that. 

I know

twits

ok. disc space fixed. cant fix blog soz!

ok! Thanks very much Pete  :))no w"

I have aphasia

I have just put in all the things I put onto JustGiving for the last week. Obviously I am asking for a bit of ‘charrity’  heh heh

Two many things all at once, so hopefully you can see what I am on about! Tell people what actually happened to me … almost...

I have aphasia. Interesting. A few shrieks after having ovarian cancer - but amazingly that was easier to deal with. This has taken me nearly 4 years just to deal with the fact that I can’t read, can’t remember things - sometimes I can’t focus at all…but I can’t read YET [if I poke my eyes almost into a book it helps a bit] etc.

So it has taken a long time to get here – but I AM here. And I now want something please - I want to raise some funds for all the people from all walks of life who have developed aphasia. I am amazed about how many people there are that have aphasia. About 367,000 people in the UK. A LOT!

Aphasia is a communication 'disability' caused by damage to the language centres of the brain. It can affect understanding of language, speech, reading and writing. I had experienced a massive ‘subarachnoid brain haemorrhage’. Then a stroke 4 days later. That’s where I said ‘interesting’.

To be fair, it isn’t very interesting – but it stops me having a ‘normal’ conversation, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. Some days I can’t read at all – other days I read a few pages. Yelling with delight! Some people have a harder time than I do – and we REALLY want to help one another. Mainly to have a bit of a chuckle!

Aphasia does not affect one's intelligence – it just stops you from communicating ‘normally’.

To me, this little challenge [my first one - so far!] is raising funds to help in the fight against not being able to speak - or have someone to sit near you just to make you feel better. This challenge is an opportunity for me to raise awareness and significant funds to help the fight against being alone or being afraid.

Aphasia can affect anyone at all ... so your money will be well spent.

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page and to read all this.
Onward and upward!

News!

Bit of news. Feb 14th [Valentine’s day] I had an MRA – I got the results! The jolly old aneurysm that nearly killed me [it was clipped 8 hours after FH found me] and also the other ‘incidental’ [eh?] aneurysms – well, the letter says ‘have excellent appearances of your previous treatment’. Rah.

Arranged for next year’s scan and that is that. Great!

I was rather stressed. Not a lot of 'proper' speaking. Now I want a tattoo like Angelina.

BUT I feel much better! And I would love to get a bit more pennies here

Thanks!

#sandhy-robinson-jones JustGiving

Busy busy…

Off to the breast check this morning - and that is something I ALWAYS know I'm going. Very difficult to park - much better in the summer.

Today it's freezing. But a good thing to do once a year, that says: 'great, everything is fine'.

Plus I am dropping off my beautiful wigs down to Force.

Plus it’s International Women's Day! Bwaa! Let’s shout a bit here girls!

As usual [I know - I'm a nagger], I would be chuffed if you donated a little money (or a LOT) – a lot of women AND men have aphasia – thanks for helping me!
x

Here is my #sandhy-robinson-jones JustGiving

Interesting – as usual

Today was VERY interesting; I have started remembering things.

Places I've been to - I remember what we did there; going in the antique shops, having coffee and this time I am so much calmer [that’ll be the old brain].

We had very English coffee with HUGE sandwiches in Ashburton.

It is becoming more ‘real’, even when I can’t speak entire sentences, I can give it a good old go. After 4 years I am getting more tolerant. I’ve stopped feeling like screaming.

Life, as I know very well, goes on. And my brain MUST be getting better? I hope so.