Friday, 28 October 2011

one day to go – thank you very much!

I can't believe it! It's tomorrow!! We have had a last minute change of itinerary, [the last night is now in a rather spiffy hotel overlooking the National Park – cool!] but that's it – we're REALLY REALLY going…I feel mildly hysterical at the thought! Breathe…
And as I probably won't be in touch whilst I am in Kenya [not much Wi-Fi available there], I just want to say a HUGE thank  you to everyone who has helped me to get to this point and raise so much money for these brilliant charities. £4850.00! Imagine…I was worried about raising the minimum £2800.

Everyone I know or have come into contact with during this past year, family, friends – even complete strangers have helped and supported me. It's been an amazing eye opener. People's kindness has brought me to tears on more than one occasion.

So thank you to everyone who has donated their time, their money, everyone who has encouraged me, everyone who has sent cards, called me to wish me luck and sent me quirky gifts, tweets, blog comments – you name it, it's all helped. I have my fab OAKLEYS [woop!] and THE most hilarious chrome Bugle bicycle hooter ever – it makes an unholy racket, so any lions will run away! What more could a girl need when cycling across the African veldt?

1horn_5

And of course, the BIGGEST thank you has to go to the FH for all the support through training, fund raising and random attacks of hysteria. Thank you for not beating me over the head with my bike helmet!

And I am taking my girls with me on the back of my hoody for some help up the hills ;)
names-for-hoody

Now just to pack the saddle, helmet and padded [and very elegant!] shorts and off we go. Feeling extremely trepidatious! Wish me luck, and thanks again!! I couldn't have done it without you all!

I imagine I'll have an interesting story to tell when we come home ;) Watch this space!

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Jo

Today my friend Jo died. She had cervical cancer – a recurrence killed her. I have lost it completely, and can not stop crying. Her husband kindly took time out of his own grief to let me know this evening. So I should get a grip – he did. Why can't I?

This is a photo of Paul and Jo, taken by Karen. For me it says everything – it's 'Just Jo'…that sweet personality shines through, that happy confidence. I just love it.

JO Jo was a really lovely person. I met her through this blog. She commented on one of my posts ages ago, when I was still in 'omg I am going to die' mode. She told me not to worry, she had been in remission for years and I would be ok. And it helped me. A LOT. We chatted back and forth and eventually became friends on Facebook. There's a limit to how much conversation you can have in the 'comments' box…

She had a Fairy garden on FB. She would play it on her iPhone under the bedcovers when she couldn't sleep [insomnia seems part and parcel of cancer treatment – we 'watered' plants at 3.30 in the morning…]. Her favourite films were Jesus of Nazareth, Enemy of the State and Conan the Barbarian?? heh heh – get on Conan!

Then, on the 31 December 2009 she told me she had worrying symptoms and was waiting for results. It seemed like a urinary tract infection.  But sadly, it wasn't. After that we were more closely in touch, as I added her to the group on FB..Jo was our 'Honourary Member'. The only woman in the group NOT to have ovarian cancer – but not the only one who has had cervical.

Jo commented on a blog post I did [it was a special post for LIVESTRONG day.]

"I have been here for certain and I think it is an inevitable part of the process of coming to terms with how fragile, brittle and frightening life can be. When you get cancer you stare into the abyss. But I have gradually come to terms with it and feel less daunted about life these days. For me it was less about me dying, and more about what and who I was leaving behind. Frightened by how I would die, but not about actually dying itself. It all has to be sorted out in your head, and it can be lonely. No - it IS lonely. Without my faith and my family I don't think I would still have my mental health to be honest. With their love and support, I am stronger for going through it now despite all the darkness. Hugs X "

It says a lot – her comment. Even then, she was calmly accepting the inevitable. Jo was a very inspiring woman – not just because of the way she dealt with her cancer – her life was inspiring. She ran a business, she ran a household with a wonderful Son [has to be capitalised :) ] and husband [I know they are wonderful because she told me] and she had her Faith. But it was always her two men that she referred to first when she spoke of love and support.

Jo even managed her death well. "Frightened by how I would die, but not about actually dying itself."  Her main worry was leaving her husband and her beloved Son. Happily, Jo died peacefully. I am so grateful for that. For her husband and son, and for her. And [selfishly] for me too – I feel relieved that she fell asleep on Thursday 20th October and moved gracefully towards peace over Friday and Saturday before passing over at 5:30am this morning.

So. Goodbye to yet another friend. Rant? Yes, probably should. But I can't. I am so exhausted with death. So. No. No rant. Just a heartfelt plea to Someone, Somewhere to find a cure.

JO2

The Kenya Cycle seems more relevant every day – these women would all still be here IF we had a cure! I would not be breaking my heart over Jo. And Gaynor. And Sweet Jane…my friends…

And yes Jo. You're right - it IS lonely.

A list in loving memory of my friends:

Jo McGowan
Gaynor Hall
Diane Davis Waller
Sweet Jayne Armstrong
Bj Gallagher
Patty Higgins
Thelma Huggett
Kelli Godfrey
Annie Prouse

We won't forget you! And don't worry girls – we WILL find a cure…

Saturday, 22 October 2011

OMG!

I woke up this morning and realised that this time next week, I will [no doubt!] be frantically stuffing things into a bag last minute and wondering what I've forgotten. THUD goes the heart! There are 50 things I should have already done, but time just disappears, and half of them will remain un-done.

NEXT SATURDAY is CKA-Day – the Cycle Kenya Adventure begins!! Here's the itinerary and below is the [approximate] scary map of the ride…but it takes ages to load…

But today I am trundling off to the Salt Mine, then coming home to complete a logo design and try to get some drawings of egg cups done [with animals heads – cool], then out again this evening to wait tables. Then at last I'll be able to pay the £290.00 air and fuel taxes on Monday. I am beginning to rather look forward to the cycle as a rest. At least I'll have just ONE thing to do…get from Nyeri to Lake Vic…alive!

NERVOUS puts it mildly, but also excited – only one way to go, and that's FORWARDS!

You can still
donate here if you would like to help make a difference to research into ovarian, breast and cervical cancer. Thank you EVERYONE who has donated and helped me raise an amazing £4805.00!


Friday, 21 October 2011

7 days 21 hours and 52 minutes to go!

What happened?? This cycle was AGES away…now it's next week! I don't feel ready at all, and yet I feel I can't wait to get there and get to it. I am going with a great bunch of women – they really are something. So we will support one another, and of course, it's always easier to achieve something as a team than it is to do it alone. That's the theory anyway!
cycle kenya 005

I HAVE trained. The FH has been a Godsend, in that he has been forcing me out, and because he's faster [grr!] I am always pushed to keep up with my short little legs. He gets little breaks to drink water and rest while he waits for me to huff and puff my way to wherever he is. I get to try [and fail mostly] to guzzle water and speak [complain] whilst not being able to breathe…then off we go again.

To be honest, I am astounded at myself. I am NOT a person who has ever done charity stuff. And I am certainly not a person who has ever been sporty.  I think the most extreme sport I ever did was ice hockey – and it seemed easy because I was on skates! A bike is a totally different thing – one has to actually put a 'whole body' effort in…but I'm doing it. And enjoying it.

Recently, we  [the cycle group] have been wondering precisely how much of the money we've raised actually goes to the three charities we are supporting. Obviously the Action for Charity peeps have to make something, so we are interested in what is left after they take their cut.

I was interested [and shocked] to read the way that Cancer Research UK use THEIR funds for research. See below – ovarian cancer, which has the WORST survival rate in the UK [compared to the rest of Europe] seems very low on the scale. 

So – now we know why we have the worst survival rate!!

Ovarian cancer is the second leading cancer in women (affecting about 1/70) and the leading cause of death from gynaecological cancer, and the deadliest (1% of all women die of it). It is the 5th leading cause of cancer-related deaths in women, causing an estimated 15,000 deaths in 2008. Incidence is higher in developed countries.

Here is what Cancer Research UK say [and - where does the other 20 pence in a pound go??]:

"For every £1 donated, 80 pence is available to spend on our work to beat cancer. We receive no government funding for our research.

"We spent £332 million on our annual research activity in 2010/11. In almost every type of cancer, we fund more research than any other organisation in the UK.

We need to make sure nothing slows down the tremendous progress we’re making. Whilst we make the best use of every pound we raise, each year we receive a growing number of outstanding research proposals that we cannot afford to fund."

WebThis image is from Cancer Research UK. They are patently quite pleased with themselves. I am just confused – why not have an even distribution of funds?

WHY is the funding for Ovarian cancer research A QUARTER of the amount spent on Breast Cancer research?? Ovarian cancer is the second most common gynaecologic cancer and the deadliest in terms of absolute figure. It's insane – any research into ovarian cancer benefits breast cancer research. The reverse is not true.

Ovarian cancer is the second most common cancer in women - around 6,500 cases are diagnosed annually in the UK. Around one woman in 70 in the general population is at risk of developing ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer often develops without any clear symptoms and many women only discover they have it once it has spread. Surely this warrants the self same amount of funding as breast cancer?

And here's a peculiar factoid I discovered on Wiki:

"A Swedish study, which followed more than 61,000 women for 13 years, has found a significant link between milk consumption and ovarian cancer. According to the BBC, "[Researchers] found that milk had the strongest link with ovarian cancer—those women who drank two or more glasses a day were at double the risk of those who did not consume it at all, or only in small amounts."

Recent studies have shown that women in sunnier countries have a lower rate of ovarian cancer, which may have some kind of connection with exposure to Vitamin D.[27]

And another [rather horrible] thing I discovered on Wiki is this: Grade 3 tumours have the worst prognosis and their cells are abnormal, referred to as poorly differentiated. There are four grades indicating the likelihood of the cancer to spread and the higher the grade, the more likely for this to occur.

Oooo shit! 'Occur'. HATE that word. Although 'reoccur' is worse…I didn't realise that I have the 'worst prognosis'!! Ovarian cancer, as  any other type of cancer, is graded, as well as staged. I had a Grade 3B [IIIB - macroscopic peritoneal metastases beyond pelvis less than 2cm in size] tumour. The tumour was bigger than my womb! [revolting factoid for your horror] the metastases was in the peritoneum. And other bits. Deleted.

Here's a world map – of ovarian cancer death rates. Nice huh? NOT

2000px-Ovary_cancer_world_map_-_Death_-_WHO2004_svgEnglish: Age-standardised death rates from Ovarian cancer by country (per 100,000 inhabitants). rates

No wonder we're all trying to raise money for research! It's critical!

So all you women complaining about sore arms from inoculations and sore butts from cycling…worrying about whether we need mosquito nets and hair tongs…think about how bad it is for women who have sore arms from having an 8 hour dose of chemo…once every few weeks until there ARE no more veins to push the needle into. And no hair to use those Ever So Important hair tongs ON.
Be proud of yourselves for what you're doing – SO many women will benefit. And, God forbid, it could be you who benefits one day...it sort of makes the sore arm less painful doesn't it?

Saturday, 15 October 2011

raised so far: £4,720.00!!

Chuffed to bits! I had to raise £2800 to qualify for the cycle Kenya  – my initial target was £3000, then I changed it to £4000…so I have surpassed my 2nd target! Incredible, and only achieved with the help of family, friends and amazingly, complete strangers!

Today, Linda Jackson [a complete stranger] donated £20.00…so unexpected and so kind. Thanks Linda, and even better in a way is that I now know that the blog DOES help some women dealing with ovarian cancer. Apparently it does give women hope. I am so happy about that. Pouring one's blood and guts into the ether can sometimes be a little nerve wracking. But just ONE woman feeling better because of my experience is a result like that makes it worthwhile.

I have 13 days to go until the cycle…I am ill – we have caught some stomach bug that makes you feel like throwing up all the time, and both of us feel exhausted. NOT a good way to feel if you need to train! Plus I have a back ache like the devil. BUT, as today was birthday celebrations for the FH [after work], we will go for a long bike ride tomorrow. Then just short rides until I go to Kenya.

I really hope I've trained enough! I'll do it no matter what, but I am hoping not to be in agony the whole five days…