Friday – hmm

I was listening to an interesting conversation today. It was about having irritating people not noticing what the people around them are struggling with. And they aren’t ‘helping’. You know – like people with cancer, or brain subarachnoid haemorrhage … you know – these sort of frightful afternoon drama attacks. Imagine.

And by the way – apparently [according to our random internet types] one-third of patients with brain subarachnoid haemorrhage will survive with good recovery; one-third will survive with a disability; and one-third will die. Bugger – must be a nightmare when you’re trundling along and you suddenly die of ‘the one-third’.

Anyway – where was I? Oh yes - I used lots of people with all that kind of stuff and had no problem at all with having the cancer part. Although I didn’t have a tattoo [might go and have that now!] – if I wanted a masseuse I’d get my friend Julie to do it! Or Force.

I have many more problems now, as people don't get the fact that my 'problem' - i.e.: I can sometime speak, and sometimes I can’t explain – and all the problems that I have cannot be explained in a chat. Try that at the doctor…

And these people will simply ‘fill in’ for us. No one ever tried to remove my cancer and sort THAT out for me. But they can say what I am trying to say as I am an aphasia. Tut tut! Not a very good idea. Usually it’s a totally disaster, as I will be trying to find a different work / thing / plot etc. And usually I was getting very angry – now I can get my head round it. Which means I wont have a heart attach. Yay.

Having had cancer and now I have the brain haemorrhage and the stroke, the people I have struggled with have been the doctors amazingly enough. It’s almost ‘off you go – you’ll be fine’. Well, I wasn’t fine at all. But eventually I trundled off to the hospital and spoke to my cancer peeps. They helped me get it straight with my daktari. Very good plan.

It is worse when you are a brain haemorrhage / aphasia / was a cancer type person - life is so full of people who can't 'cope' with dealing with that.

Personally I wouldn't discrimination with people who can't help others – I’d simply walk away.

It was a speedy Wednesday [not!]

Well, it’s actually Thursday. How is it that everything has to be done at a fast, rushing rate? I never seem to get a ‘chilled out brain’. Ever. Nope. And I think I had the same thing before my brain got rather slow with the old brain haemorrhage! People on the earth need to slow down … but we can’t can we?

On Wednesday I was doing things for the Living with Aphasia with Barbara. She organises what we should do, then we just go off and do whatever random stuff that needs doing.

We now have a Living with Aphasia sponsorship afternoon thing come up. We will be trundling round the Quay and then we will be celebrating our One Year Anniversary of our charity. Cool! A few scrummy rugby chaps to help us open the day. All on the 1st of May.

In the meantime I need a new JustGiving so I can actually get a bit of fundraising without having a nervous breakdown…it’s coming, but it’s taking a wee while.

In the meantime I need to get lots of house stuff into the attics. We have some chaps who are coming to paint all the upstairs rooms – the ceiling, the walls, the wood work … aargh!

Stress…check out the wall paint. Lovely and blue! It should look great. Fingers crossed! At the moment it’s all stripped and seriously looks horrid.

Off to add a few more bits into the attic now! But, that's the third day that I’ve been writing. Amazing …

Already on the second page!

A second page in two days? A miracle. Really! To actually put anything sensible on paper [or stuff that looks like paper] is quite hard when you have a few interesting things going on in your ‘head’.

I am going to try to create a sort of ‘this is what happened’. That is going to be for me mostly – you can read along if you want. Hopefully my head will feel SO much better after I try to understand everything. One of the things is the Facebook pages – so many remarks spoken by the people who I knew whilst I was in hospital [or madly trying to escape…] and the FH told everyone what was going on then. He is so supportive of me. I am still not quite ME. But I will get there. The FH has an interesting life with a nutty wife! :)

Half the time I can’t work out what happened [I’ve been told MANY times] – that whole thing about ‘you were in a coma’ – shriek! What ever was I thinking of that day?  I had my Women V Cancer – Ride the Night thing coming up … it was our first one. I sort of missed it! Bugger.

And this year I should really try to do the London to Paris women v cancer – I got my £3,394.79 money sorted out to go to Vietnam but unfortunately I could not do it. But I could do it this year? Hmm. Maybe. Lot of pain jibber around at the moment. Onward and upward as usual.

Maybe as my brain trundles along, things will carry on getting better … in the meantime, I have a MRI scan next week. Such fun! They check that my head is ok. Good show! And today I am off to the Living with Aphasia this afternoon. Nice and chilled and the cake will be scrummy!

Brandon Kidwell

Getting to the end of 4 years…

This is a sort of new blog – now I can write a lot more, and I actually read more too. Amazing. But it can be very irritating as some of my spelling and words get rather confusing. But hey – you don’t have to read this you know …

Incredible to think that the brain aneurysm and stroke [grr] happened almost 4 years ago. Bah. But to be fair, I am starting to feel a bit less stressed and more ‘human’. Fingers crossed.

I shall be having a teeny party in May this year…19th of May in 2014 was when I ‘fell over and didn’t get up for a few days’ heh heh

What I am going to do is do this – maybe a daily blog? I need to try to remember things. Hard!

So – we’ll see! Hope you don't die of boredom! 

In the meantime I am doing a lot of stuff in the house!