As the check up looms I become more emotional. And a bit scared. Quite scared actually. Completely insomniac. It's normal – but it doesn't make it easier. All us cancery types are the same – check up time is murderous. We turn into monsters and we can't help it. But happily the people who love us understand. It's simply nerves. But nerves can cause untold dramas.
I am worried because I have a 'symptom'. Grr. Symptoms suck. I have a bloated tummy and it's doing my head in. To say the least. But I wonder if it's hypochondria? Or just plain terror of a bad result – I had my bloods done this week. That was fun. Not. I kept thinking I should have done this, or I should have done that…when, in reality, nothing I do will make any difference. Either the cancer will take hold again or it won't.
I damn well hope it can't! I need to cycle 400 km across Kenya on October! I keep thinking something is going to happen to stop me doing that – and I would be FURIOUS if it did.
So. Cross your fingers or say your prayers for me. I need every help I can get…