Saturday, 19 April 2008

34. 11th day after chemo – a 'scruciating scalp

Saturday 19th April

Yesterday was a bit exhausting, but I feel better today. I understand that the 10th day in is the lowest day for your immune system, and I was shattered, beneath my eyes swelled up like poached eggs and I felt like sleeping all the time. Impossible, as I need to work. I have always enjoyed my job, but at the moment I am beginning to detest the very sight of the computer. This is the problem with being a freelancer – no paid sick leave, no note from your doctor telling you that it’s fine to have 3 months off and rest. You have to just try and work when you have a lively moment. It can make you feel a bit resentful. BUT, saying that, if I wasn’t working what would I be doing? Apart from sleeping anyway. So. Hmm. Good points and bad points, my main worry being that it’s hard to be creative when your brain is shouting at you to just stop and sleep. Many arguments inside my poor head. Working at strange times.

Speaking of my head, that’s today’s entertainment. I woke up about 10 times last night because my scalp is so sore – like someone has been trying to tear my hair out in chunks! This is not necessary. It’s going to fall off anyway – behave yourself, head!

My head feels like Fire Ants are eating it. I quite like Charlie Chaplin’s quote: “Hair is vitally personal to children. They weep vigorously when it is cut for the first time; no matter how it grows, bushy, straight or curly, they feel they are being shorn of a part of their personality.” It’s not just children that feel like that I can assure you. The hair loss is giving me sense of humour failure for the moment.

Apparently this soreness stops once your hair is gone. Well, if it gets worse, my hair might be gone sooner than it thinks, as I am already tired of having a sore head. Bring on the beard trimmers or whatever they are that people use to shave their heads. I am starting to see my own hair as an enemy in the camp – first it’s going to fall out, second it’s adding to the aggro. Probably this is a good thing, as I may get to the point where I can’t wait to shave it off!

Beware hair, you days are limited!

1 comment:

  1. It was hard on me to lose my hair. Now I am used to it :)

    I love your attitude- and if you don't mind, I'll join you in a glass of wine.


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