Wednesday, 23 April 2008

35. 15th day after. Oh */*%**! [insert your own expletive]

Wednesday 22 April

So, today I almost gave myself a nervous breakdown. Decided to have a bath and wash my hair – isn’t that supposed to be relaxing? Ha! I laugh in your general direction – relaxing? NOT. So much of my hair fell out in the bath I was sitting in the middle of it, looking at it floating about, crying. When I got out, I looked like Chewbacca from Star wars, and had to have shower to get all the hair off me. Jesus. Enough of these indignities now thank you.

Had a message from Emily, telling me about Buff headgear, so after I’d recovered from the frightful bath experience, I managed to dry the remains of my hair into some sort of reasonable state. Shot over the road to Bridge, and bought an original one. In the back of my mind all the time was the thought that this is now just masochism – I am torturing myself by leaving my hair – it’s all over the house – I had to hoover the bed for Pete’s sake. So when I got to Bridge I wasn’t in the most sane of states. Asked them if they could order in a Buff with a visor, and they said ‘sure, that’ll cost £10 for p&p, as it’s a special order’ – oops. They didn’t know what kind of monster had arrived in their shop. I did ask the fellow if he was on drugs, to which he took umbrage. Hmm – second mistake on his part. I was a tad peeved by this time and told him so. £10?? Give me a break – they only COST £10.oo!! Foolish person. Anyway, after abusing the man I bought the one I wanted and stomped off to buy some wine, pizza and bread. Right. Sorted with the important stuff.

Now to consider if Aj should chop off my hair [he was blissfully unaware of my plotting, as he was at work]. To cut a long story short, after he got home I got him to chop off the lot. First cut it off with scissors, then shaved it back to a Grade 1 [about 1mm from the scalp] with his beard trimmer – which conked out by the time he’d finished with my hair – there was rather a lot of it after all. I stood on the patio in the middle of all my hair, trying to be normal, but failing miserably, and had tears running down my face all the time he was doing it. He said I was being really brave, which made me even more upset.

Slapped on a bandanna, and here we are; better stop soon as I am getting a bit tipsy now, as I have allowed myself a larger than usual ration of wine!! As in: I will drink the whole bottle if I like!! Well, I think it’s either that or run round the neighbourhood throttling unwary just to wait for the rest to fall out. But not so bad now, as it’s so short, I shan’t notice so much. And it’s not as painful without the weight. Still itchy, but that’ll go once it’s all fallen out. Wow – such a fun day. Poor Andrew. What a life.

Well, only one more week and the next chemo will be under way. Now that the hair is gone, that’s it really – just get these sessions over and done with and try to get back to normal. Fridays blood test will tell, although I feel ok, so I am sure they will be fine this time. Encouraging to think that I’ll be a 3rd of the way through it after this one. Two down in three weeks, four to go. One good thing, the horrible rash has gone down to a dull roar, and isn’t so irritating. I stopped taking the Piriton, as it didn’t appear to be doing any good, and I’m sure I have enough rubbish in my system that I don’t need to add more if it’s not helping.

Guzzling what feels like gallons of Lucozade – not sure if it’s good for me or not, but it’s all I feel like drinking at the moment. Overdid it a bit at the weekend, as we had the kids and grand daughter down, so it was all go. But it was a lovely distraction, and we had a brilliant weekend – much junk food consumed by all! It seems like we ate crisps all the time? Anyway, it was excellent.

Right – off to drink wine, be a grump and sit by the fire. WHERE is the summer?

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