Thursday, 9 October 2008

ho hum and BYE BYE for a bit!

Saturday 27th September

Bloody results!! I swear, our lives seem to revolve around them. Well at the moment mine does, and I am hoping this will lessen as the months and years go by. I am driving myself a bit mad at the moment, wishing the time would pass more quickly in order to arrive at the first of my post-chemo check ups, at the same time wondering what’s up with my head, as I am about to go on holiday, and who in their right mind would want the first holiday for 9 months to go quickly? Er – no-one! So I am now in holiday mode! Last blog before I go, then goodbye cancer until I come back. I am going to think about nothing but having a rest, growing my hair and generally being normal. Well, what is classed as normal for me at any rate!

So, A had her results this week and she is in remission. The best news!! At first I thought she had lost the plot – remission? What? Isn’t that only after 5 years? [by the way it’s quite normal for we cancer affected lot to lose the plot on a regular basis]. I was confused, so I did a bit of research and it seems it’s a commonly misunderstood term, and I misunderstood it. Remission, according to Cancer Research UK, is this [and I quote]: "If a cancer is in remission, there is no sign of it in examinations or tests. Doctors say 'remission' instead of cure because they cannot always be sure that all cancer cells are gone and the cancer won’t come back. Generally, the longer the remission, the less likely it is that the cancer will come back". Oh, and sorry girls, it IS a bit of a pink site! We really need to get going on this teal thingy and I intend to be led by Kia in this, as she has ten times more energy than me right now.

To be told I am in remission will be fabulous, and as far as I am concerned, that is what is going to happen, which is why I can stop thinking about this for the next eight days as soon as I finish here, as I am about to start packing and must remember to pack shoes that don’t torture my feet. Havaiana’s! Upieee! [for the uninitiated, these are Brazilian flip flops - but the BEST flip flops ever].

As usual, I digress. This morning I have been busy-bodying on everyone else’s blogs. Keeping up with what’s happening once you’re tracking a blog is easy, but it’s going BACK through their blogs to find out what happened initially that needs time, so that’s what I’ve been doing. Munching my toast and either laughing or crying, and realising how lucky we are here in the UK, to have the NHS [the National Health Service]. And how all the things that happen and are happening to me are happening to other people too. They also think strange thoughts, go through ups and downs that other people may find unnerving or unreasonable. It doesn’t make it any easier for me to deal with my own chaotic emotions to know this, but it certainly makes one feel less out of control and less alone.

I found a new term too, which I find most amusing. AC and BC – After Cancer and Before Cancer. I think we should all be allowed to put those letters after our names, I shall soon be Mrs Robinson-Jones, AC. I can’t think why that amuses me, but it does. Off for Not-Thinking-About-Cancer hols now! tata!

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