why are we so nervous nearing the check up? we/I should be jumping for joy. It's just a confirmation that we are well. Right? No. It's a test to see if the cancer has come back.
The last few weeks I have been worrying a lot. When I initially asked Dr Hong HOW I would know if I had a recurrence, she said that I would probably have the same symptoms as I had in the first place. And that it would probably recur on my stomach IF it were to recur. Oh joy. They were hardly 'in your face' symptoms were they? A swollen tummy, a lump in my groin, extreme tiredness. Well, I have the extreme tiredness again, that's for sure. And it worries me. Plus, apart from being exhausted, I have a lot of strange pains in my stomach – these are apparently 'normal'. After massive surgery like I had, you get pains. Adhesions etc.
Whilst in Portugal I rang the oncologists secretary in tears – she said better to wait until your appointment. So, I will.
But normal?? What is that?? Tomorrow I have to phone and book myself in for my bloods. I should have done it today. But as usual, I leave the important things to last.
To my detriment.