Sunday, 18 October 2009

travelling and new friends

well. then we went to Stoke. Aaargh – what a nightmare. The trip is, on average, 3 hours, 3 and a 1/2 tops. We took nearly FIVE [yes, 5] hours to get there. Never saw so many crashes on one road! The M5 is jinxed right now. Avoid! The first was a 5 car pile up. Then a three car crash, then road works, then another crash, more road works…it was quite literally, TORTURE!! I think I was in first gear for three hours – eventually had to swap with Aj, as my knees were locking up. Uff.

Eventually we arrived, exhausted, to have a birthday dinner with the girls – Chinese take away! yesss. And chocolate cake [with candles] for Vicky and Aj [Vicky's birthday is the same week as her Dad's].

Aj and his girls:


Then on Saturday we went to put flowers on Aj's mothers grave. I don't mind visiting Clarice, but I always hate this. Confusing. I don't like the cemetery, I don't like what seeing all those graves does to my head. And I don't like walking across the graves either! I always come away from there thinking horrible things and feeling upset. Feeling as if I better sort out where and how I want to be buried / cremated whatever. Not my fave type of thoughts.

Whatever. In the afternoon Aj went to see his beloved football team play against West Ham. While he did that I went to visit a woman recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We got in touch through Ovacome. She was diagnosed in September, and had her first chemo last Monday. As I was going to be in the area, we thought it might be nice if we met. Maybe I could give her a bit of support and encouragement. I know that I really appreciated it when I met the girls I now know as friends after I was diagnosed. So, off I went.

I was so nervous. I worried about telling her too much, too little, or something that might really upset her. I tried to bring her some things that might help. I am not a qualified 'let me help you with cancer' person – or am I? We who have had cancer, we know it well. Maybe I am. And it was great! We talked and talked, so much that I forgot the time. Eventually she dropped me back – but I think we could have waffled on for another day. A very strong woman with the right attitude.

But it brought it all back, the scary bits, the things I have compartmentalised. The things I have 'forgotten' [not quite]. But that was good, as I am now in a position to realise how very lucky I am. In a year I am hoping that she will be where I am – a survivor and also a person who is able to 'put away' the worst bits. But first she has to get through those 'worst bits'. It's heartbreaking. But I did it, so anyone can.

It's nice to forget some things. Sometimes chemo brain is a blessing!

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