breathless

I am always rushing these days. And this week has been no exception. It seems I don't have enough moments in the day. Or enough days in the week. I am breathless.

It's been a good week, and a very bad week. A very LONG week. Count the good first - my check up was fine, CA 125 up to 9 again but still well within the norms. A milestone for me, as it's 2 years [amazing! doesn't feel like it!] since my last chemo in August 2008 and I am now going for my next check up in SIX months time. Chemo never seems far away - hopefully it soon will feel that way. But I still remember this day so vividly - I can still feel how my scalp felt then…

Yay? 6 months cancer free! hmm - I think so. But it doesn't matter, as I can call and go there whenever I like if I feel unsettled. So. A GREAT result. Relief. And Rachel has been declared totally cancer free!! Amazing!

BAD because ALL bloody week my friends have been having lots of problems. Of my dear friends, one is constantly back and forth for scans, blood tests, this that and the other - and no-one seems to know what's wrong; another one's CA 125 has shot up rather alarmingly; to be resolved soon we hope. Another has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is now in chemo. My friends [she feels like my sister] mother has been diagnosed with the same. She is in for surgery this week. WHAT is going on?? It's almost like a message, pounding it home how grateful I should be.

And I am - but I so wish I could share the good luck. Because worse was yet to come.