Wednesday, 29 April 2009
You know what - I think cancer can make one quite thoughtless and selfish. One becomes so obsessed with the thought and means of survival, that one can become quite revoltingly self absorbed. I suppose it's a little like being attacked by a crocodile or a lion…you wouldn't really be thinking about how everyone else is would you? You'd simply be concentrating on how to get the beast away from your jugular. Or your foot. Or whatever part it was busy munching on. Maybe this is just me. But survival seems paramount. I forget most everything else. Not deliberately. It just is.
This lays one open for the 'Guilt Trip' as in, 'I feel bad about not doing this, that or the other' for other people. And it’s true - chemo really does make you forget to do things. I have ALL my family's birthdays in my Outlook calendar - I know exactly when things are going to happen. BUT I still don't manage to do anything on time. I know when things are going to happen - I know to buy a card. But I never know if I've sent the damn thing or not!! And sadly it's usually a 'not'! Grr. So our new plan is to buy all the cards in advance, address them, stamp them, write them. And then simply rely on AJ to post them in time. We discussed this the other night - AJ is a star. I was sort of having a bit of a fit due to constant FORGETTING. I hate it. Uff! I hate this!! I feel so stupid - I forget things that happened 4 hours ago! Bah. But thanks to my great husband, I now have a plan.
Hopefully, the chemo brain will go AWAY!! It’s the most frustrating thing.
You know what - I think cancer can make one quite thoughtless and selfish. One becomes so obsessed with the thought and means of survival, that one can become quite revoltingly self absorbed. I suppose it's a little like being attacked by a crocodile or a lion…you wouldn't really be thinking about how everyone else is would you? You'd simply be concentrating on how to get the beast away from your jugular. Or your foot. Or whatever part it was busy munching on. Maybe this is just me. But survival seems paramount. I forget most everything else. Not deliberately. It just is.
This lays one open for the 'Guilt Trip' as in, 'I feel bad about not doing this, that or the other' for other people. And it’s true - chemo really does make you forget to do things. I have ALL my family's birthdays in my Outlook calendar - I know exactly when things are going to happen. BUT I still don't manage to do anything on time. I know when things are going to happen - I know to buy a card. But I never know if I've sent the damn thing or not!! And sadly it's usually a 'not'! Grr. So our new plan is to buy all the cards in advance, address them, stamp them, write them. And then simply rely on AJ to post them in time. We discussed this the other night - AJ is a star. I was sort of having a bit of a fit due to constant FORGETTING. I hate it. Uff! I hate this!! I feel so stupid - I forget things that happened 4 hours ago! Bah. But thanks to my great husband, I now have a plan.
Hopefully, the chemo brain will go AWAY!! It’s the most frustrating thing.
I've been hoping that Chemo Brain will go away for 2 years now. but i think i'm bloody stuck with it!
ReplyDeleteEeee - don't say that! I shall need therapy soon! ;o)
ReplyDeleteIt's a perfect excuse for so much. Actually it's a little more than an excuse...maybe a reason or a justification. Chemo brain is here to stay. x
ReplyDeleteI jolly well hope not! It's good to know that it is actually a 'real' malady though. I was beginning to wonder if it was just me 'making excuses' for being lazy/thoughtless
ReplyDeleteLuckily it's not. :o)