an invigorating day

Tuesday, 7 April 2009


What a great day - it was supposed to be pouring with rain. It didn’t - it was really sunny! Lots of those lovely gigantic fluffy white clouds racing about, and a breeze, but it was sort of invigorating. Especially when I got out of the car to walk to the entrance of the RD&E. I was almost blown right past.

This time I went really early, to avoid the mad panic of trying to park [last time I was in tears as I was almost late through looking for a spot]. I got stuck in traffic though, so I only had about 12 miles left in the tank and no time to fill up. So much for planning. I was wondering if that would be enough petrol to drive round the car park 600 times. Then I thought "I don’t care - if I run out, I shall dump the car and run for it". One less thing to worry about. But startlingly enough I managed to get a spot in 15 minutes! So I was very early. Nipped into the hospital, got a big fat sandwich and some crisps and sat in the car eating them, faffing about on the internet. Oh I love my iPhone. Excellent brainless distraction machine! And it was hot! Paid £3.00 for the privilege of parking there, so I thought I may as well make the most of it.

At 3.00 I went in. And happily, Aj arrived not long after. He also managed to find parking quickly. See? I told you what a good day it was.

Today's check up was no problem. Although my CA 125 has risen from 6 to 9, apparently that's fine. [take note!! it's gone up, but I am ok. It was 9 before, then 7, then 6 now 9 again]. Renninson, my demented surgeon, said that he is not even remotely concerned, and has decided I only need go back in 4 months now instead of 3. Yay!! The other thing he said was that he treats ‘me’ not my blood results, so I shouldn’t worry about those unless it jumped to 40 for example. Then he’d think more seriously. And I don’t need a scan because he whipped everything out, and I have no signs of a recurrence so far. IF there were any signs, they would do a scan. Otherwise it’s not necessary. Ok again. Scans are weird and if I don’t need one, I don’t want one. He’s the expert.

But at first I was like: "what??" and he was like: "the longer you go on with no problems, the less I want to see you. And the more 'normality' you can attain". Suits me thanks!

I got him to do a thorough check of my abdomen though, as I have a lot of pain after the circuit training - his comment was: "you would have had that before the surgery". I would? Who knows - I didn’t do circuit training before I had cancer. I had more sense!

But I have an ongoing/on/off pain in the left side of my abdomen. Apparently that is my lower bowel [after being prodded rather violently, he ascertained that] and it may be that it's not 'clearing' properly. Hence the pain. Oh joy. Now I will be guzzling gallons of water a day on his advice. Although I can't say as I've had any bowel problems, but if that will stop it hurting, good for me. He said that’s the reason I can feel it. So. Water. Lots of. I wonder if wine counts?

Then I was wittering on about the 'hard, thudding' bit under my navel - that's my aorta and apparently [Renninson is most peculiar - very dry humour] if I didn't have it, my legs would fall off?? whahahaha - don't you love it when someone is peering up your nether regions and cracking jokes?? hmm...maybe not! eheheh. And the only other reason I can feel it is because I’m so 'slim'?? Had to tell you that! I feel like a fat porker, but if my surgeon thinks I'm slim, well, it can’t be that bad eh?

So, good news all round, but a very sore gut this evening where it's been prodded, poked and the blasted speculum was FREEZING cold!! I felt like bashing him over the head! I would have, but after all, if not for him I wouldn’t be feeling anything at all. So he can do what he likes actually.

I am totally exhausted from relief. I did do rather well this time in the stressing out department. But I don't think you realise how much you're worrying until it's done. No more worrying now for 4 months. Cancer free once again. Hooray!