Wednesday, 29 April 2009

things that really irritate me!

Wednesday 9 April 2009

Hmm - at the moment, after the mad frenzy of trying [and almost succeeding] to make everyone suicidal about the state of the economy, the press are now threatening Death and Destruction to all and sundry via the 'Swine Flu'. Oh they so wind me up! What's the problem with these people? Don't they have families, friends? Is it really necessary to constantly panic everyone? Obviously that would be a 'yes'. It would be rather refreshing if the press merely reported the facts - and how to deal with them.

So, now we are all worrying about this new and interesting flu. Some of us more than others. You know what I really HATE about having had cancer? It makes you nervous. In my previous life [that would be BC] I never worried about much. I assumed I'd die when I got to about 100, and probably in some kind of crash [as I am always driving or flying somewhere at a rate of knots] and I didn't stress about flu, colds etc. etc.

But of course this evening I discovered that the school, Paignton Community College [which is right near AJ's shop] has been closed due to one of the students having travelled to Mexico and caught the virus. Poor child. Apparently, the whole of the school year, 230 children, are being given anti-virals prophylactically. The next 'apparently' is this: there is reassurance that if you take Tamiflu anti-virals early, you make a full recovery. Oh good. For a person who's immune system is battered, this doesn’t really cut it.

So, I am tired of being scared of things that never scared me before now. I am sick of being upset by press reports that are patently dramatised. I am tired of worrying. But it’s so hard not to.

Although I must admit - my 'worrying' has lessened substantially over the last 2 months. Why? I haven't the faintest idea. I can now go for days on end without thinking about cancer. So that's a good thing.

But sometimes I get totally paranoid - I was out with friends last week, and sadly I had a paranoia attack in the middle of dinner. I had to rush outside, as I was in tears, just thinking how easy it can be to lose everything and everyone. Your life. Your friends. Everything that matters.
I am not sure if my friends understood that. And why should they?? And that's another worry. Of course you don't want to upset your friends. I certainly don't want to share my fears - at least not on such a vivid level. Doh! But my emotions are hard to control these days. Insane worries can become like nightmares - too real for comfort. Jumping into 'real' life and causing mayhem. And yet saying that, usually I am ok.

But when I’m not ok, it’s bad. Very.

1 comment:

  1. Flippin' media. Propaganda...they really do control Joe Q Public. Why do we let them do that? And as far as you little's okay. Those sorts of things are between you and God. That makes it okay! I'm prone to those outbursts that few understand. x


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