Saturday, 9 August 2008

what happens on the last one...oops..and TGIF!!

Friday 8th August

So. Sorry about the last post being sent a zillion times - it seems there was a spam problem at Blogger that turned in a general problem I think. Anyway, never mind, as I am sure you all have a delete button...and deleted me forty times! Aaargh - from Sandhy - delete delete...

The last post [when I look back on it, which I seldom do] seems a rather self pitying and pathetic post. I don’t mean to be like that [a whinging Pom! eek], but some days...well, what can I say? You just feel sorry for yourself.Thinking about dying rather soon is not a very cheery thing. Not very nice I know, [in fact, pretty revolting] but there’s nothing you can do. And I refuse to make this blog into a ‘pretend’ blog - some days you’ll just have to put up with my BS – and I know you all do, so I am not worried. Oh, I know what...Thanks!

Problem is, all my friends are on holiday. I am jealous - that’s a fact. Plus I miss them. Since December all the ‘holiday’ I have had has been for surgery or chemo...I really need a break at this point, and because of my timing, I have been refused until the end of September. I have to take my one little week then. OMG!! I can’t WAIT! Seems that catalogues are more important than LIFE sometimes...hmmm. NOT in my life any more. But saying that, I love my job [mostly because of the people I work with], so I can manage this wait. Just about. Shriek - gibber...

And today I shaved my head! What fun - not...but at least now I know whatever hair grows out is new and not 'chemo hair' - I have a serious problem with that, so I refuse to have it on my head. This week the last 5 eyebrows fell out [what? idiot things!] and all the rest of my hair , so now I am really as bald as a coot! I reckon that at least having eyebrows and lashes will be really cheering - at least then I can wear make-up! Seems that usually they grow back first so here’s hoping.

Oh, and hello Billy! Thanks for all your thoughts/wishes passed on by Mum - feel free to comment on the blog - your comments could be helpful for other people to see what you think. Actually I can’t imagine what you’re going through - makes my experience seem like a walk in the park.

Anyhoo - today I am feeling a lot better - still get the idiotic tired spells but I force myself to work through them now - I don’t sleep at night so why sleep in the day?? Andrew brought me a fan - it’s quite useful every now and then - but am still having BIG problems with beastly hot flashes. They wake you up! Grrr. Five times a night??? Not normal!

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