Thursday, 12 November 2009

five days to go

Delete Key 

Hmm – so busy ranting about the STOLEN 'A board' [that made me SO cross! thieving is so disgusting. yes, chop off the hand] that I forgot to update The Worry List.

Worry 03: Delete [thud…]

The drive home from Gatwick was ok, as far as driving for hours on end in billowing [yes, 'billowing' – not 'normal', no that'd be too easy – but it least it wasn't freezing fog] FOG, tipping rain and pitch darkness goes. Traffic wasn't as heavy as I'd expected and the trip was uneventful [love that word] apart from the usual halfwits who can't drive even in daylight. So I had an early night after a lovely chat with the FH. So good to be home and see his little face. Yay!

Worry 04: Delete [another resounding thud]

This morning, up nice and early, unpacked, slapped the laptop into sync mode with the pc and raced off to have my bloods taken. Yay -the phlebotomist is also my GP's secretary. No exploding pumps or problems at all. It seems the veins in my right arm [only one lot of chemo went in that arm, which may have helped the veins – less mustard gas is possibly a good thing] are now recovering. So my blood is now en route in it's little tube to the lab for scrutiny. I'd quite like to see that lab. When my blood is there. So I can get my results immediately.

Yes, I need therapy. Anyway, the rest of the list:

Worry 02: under construction…well. what can one say?

Worry 05 [and Worry 01]: bah. I keep thinking I am dying. Full of cancer. Every ache or pain I become distraught. In my head. Here. I try to deal with that. I am sure I am gaining ground, even though sometimes the people around me seem to forget where I am...just one year out of chemo. I am not sure if the shock has worn off even now – although I am VERY good at ''appearing'' normal. Perhaps TOO good. Maybe sometimes I should collapse on the floor. Screaming. Just so people can see what's really going on in my head. But then again, that wouldn't be very professional; now would it??

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