what WAS I thinking?

Today was a bit odd. The plan was to go shopping for shoes. I need shoes. I have a fetish for Kirk Geiger right now. Although any shoe will do! Retail therapy. These are pretty kick ass.

And jeans – but I hate shopping for jeans. They are always too long. And I always have to try on about 50 pairs before I find anything that's remotely a good fit, and by that time I am in such a temper [plus HOT and bothered and looking like a maniac] that shop assistants run away and I can't pay. Anyway, I didn't do anything, as I went upstairs to get ready to go out, took one look at the bed and decided it would be altogether more sensible to just go to sleep for an hour. Fatigue – I don't get it so often now, but when I do…uff. Well, the hour became all afternoon, and having gone to sleep while the sun was shining in the window [nice!], I woke up to total darkness! It was only 5.15, but night time already.

But I obviously needed the rest, as I feel great now. It's been an age since I just allowed myself to have a rest – I seem to fight the idea of sleeping in the day for some reason. Maybe a kick back to being in chemo, when I HAD to stop and sleep in the day, whether I liked it or not. So tomorrow is now shopping day.

In the meantime, earlier on, I was deleting, replying and sorting a zillion emails in my inbox, outbox and blah box. And I came across one from Ovacome, full of useful information about statistics that I might want to know for Thursdays TV interview. So I clicked on the link – ah, stupid. VERY stupid. Today was NOT the day for looking at that [no matter how useful!]. Survival rates, how many women die from ovarian cancer, Ovarian cancer statistics table…blah blah. I have made a rule NOT to look at stats…so why did I do that? I did get rather upset.

But as usual, something happened to make me feel better [I find this happens a lot] – my step daughter Jen text me about bikinis. And holidays. And we texted back and forth, and I forgot all about the stats. She's working until 3.00 in the morning. She's worrying about buying a bikini for the holiday – she also had some encouraging words for me about tomorrow's check up. So I got involved in The Search for A Bikini. See? I have my priorities sorted :o) Bugger the stats, I have deleted that email, and the web site…

Jen.