Thursday, 22 April 2010

ash and things


A while ago I was pondering if it was a good idea to keep in touch with so many people who have had, or still have cancer.

This week has been a perfect example of why it IS a good idea to keep in touch with all those cancery types of mine. One of my friends has an odd lump on her neck - she's had an MRI scan, and attempted [but unsuccessful] biopsy, and finally today, a CT scan. No-one knows what it is. The results will be in next week. All the while, she is wondering if it's cancer - even though it's in her neck!

Sort of like when you get a bad headache you immediately wonder how big the brain tumour actually is that you have…or the lung cancer if you get a cough..the leg cancer if you find an unexplained bruise on your shin. Fear. It's an ugly thing. It could eat you alive if you let it.

Another friend has had a recurrence. After 10 years of remission. Ten YEARS. This evening we had a chat, so I could catch up with her results which she got today. She is amazing - very calm. Very pragmatic. After I put the phone down I wasn't upset - I was sad. But I was glad that I could be here for her. And that has a little bit of a selfish side, as I am glad that if the situation was reversed, she would be there for me. Both of them would. ALL of them would.

Yet another friend has had a recurrence too. She's just started chemo. It's horrible. But it's almost like we deal with this crap as a team. Yes, that sounds odd. But it's true.

I know my normal friends and family are always there, but this is something different and hard to explain - these women just KNOW how you feel. Because they feel the same things.  So that's put that question on the fire forever now. I need them. They need me. Full stop.

Apart from that, the week has been a bit mad - I have been doing my Executive Maintenance Person thing. I'm getting used to it now, and have a method that stops me from getting Duvet Cover Rage. And I do rather like racing about in the golf  cart ;o) I've done nearly all the garden. Looking nice! Tomorrow I have an interview with a graphic design shop that sometimes uses freelancers; I've been editing images for the furniture and talking to a fab new website person. I'm having a lot of fun. Not much money involved, but hey, it'll happen.

I am FUNDRAISING!! Like mad! Thanks to everyone who already donated - I know a thank you email goes out, but really, I'm touched.

This Saturday the FH and I were supposed to go to Spain, to a beautiful village called Altea, where our friend Rick lives. We were looking forward to it so much, but due to the ASH scenario, we aren't going. Bugger. Rick bought half a lamb! We watched all the news about the blasted volcano keeping on erupting and decided it wasn't worth the risk of the FH being stuck in Spain while the shop is open. Grr. But we will reschedule for later in the year. In the meantime, we will be painting the house front! Ooo - be still my beating heart! But a week off is a week off! Lets hope the weather holds. Lets hope the volcano goes back to sleep too! And lets hope all my friends are going to be ok.



  1. I have pondered the same thing over the past few years. I always reach the same conclusion that you did.
    Thanks for always being there - even if you are an ocean away.

  2. I need you too Sandhy!! :)

    I have struggled with that question as well, from the other side. I don't want my treatment to be a 'downer' to those of you who don't have it anymore.

    All of the women in touch here, or elsewhere - mean so much to me. And you are right - we understand things that are simply inexplicable to anyone else (try as we might!).

    Big hugs my friend. (ps - love the volcano pic! It has a frightening beauty!!)

  3. OI!! I need you too.. i know where you live so don't try hiding missis.
    I wondered if the ash would spoil your plans.. blooming volcanoes.
    Thanks for been there in my hour of need mate.. love ya loads xx

  4. nat - your treatment isn't a downer - a recurrence could happen to any of us, and it's better [for me anyway] to be informed of all the options. 'just in case'. Anyway, apart from that you always have good advice when we're going mental ;o) I rely on you for that.

    Tracey! OMG!! I am moving immediately eheheh


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