what a bloody week

I haven't blogged for what feels like ages. Life has been rather 'exciting' yet again. I do so love boring.  When no momentous happenings happen. It's a lot less stressful than 'exciting'. But, hey ho, exciting it has been.

I was informed last week, exactly 30 days before my contract is due to expire, that it is not to be renewed. This is a norm, as a freelancer, one expects the contract to end at some point. And especially now, with money being so tight etc. I am expensive. Budgets are constricted. But it still sucks.

But this contract has been a 'special' if you will. It would have been ten years next April. During that time I have been travelling back and forth to Portugal on a monthly basis. Sometimes every two weeks for a fortnight, sometimes longer spells in between. Sometimes, when we had exhibitions etc that made it necessary, I have stayed there for 3 weeks at a time. I am very lucky to have such an understanding husband, as that amount of time away from home is not your normal lifestyle.

I had to go over the very minute I was able after I finished my chemo last year. With no hair – it was horrible. But I've never minded; and I've never refused to go, knowing it was necessary at the time. We were a small unit, and needs must. Plus everyone was so good to me. I developed a sort of loyalty to the company.

Anyway, the contract has expired. Sad, but not The End of The World. I will miss my friends in Portugal SO much. Last year, during the Cancer Attack, they were especially amazing. Patty and Clara both came over here to see me, cook for me, to check on Aj; just to make sure I was still in one piece. The Portuguese are a very special people – they have old style values…they value friendship very highly. And they really CARE.

This is Patty and Clara – cooking bacalhau on separate occasions in our kitchen. Pat came over almost directly after the surgery and went with me to the oncologists appointment where I discovered, yes, I really WOULD be losing my hair. THAT was a ghastly day.

I had so much support from the girls I know there. Even the ones who don't 'think' they were very supportive. ;o) But they were – in their own way. Unfortunately I didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye to anyone – perhaps that's best, as it would have been very emotional. Better to not say goodbye, but just wait for the next hello. It was a little bit callous to send a 3 line email informing me though. Ten years seems to merit a little more? But perhaps it's me…

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." ~ Richard Bach

In the meantime, I need to find work here in the UK. Hmm – difficult, as I have worked out of the country for so long – no contacts. But I will deal with that as and when.

All week I have been dreading the CT scan – that seems more important than the job right now, as that will let me know IF the cancer has gone, or IF it has come back. Actually, it's a piece of luck that my contract didn't end last year – job hunting with no hair would have been rather challenging to say the least!

So you can well imagine – my stress levels have been sky high…and so have Aj's. We need a holiday!