Friday, 21 March 2008

20. getting a bit over emotional

Friday 21 March:
Easter Friday – managed to totter up to town last night with Aj and buy Easter eggs for Vick, Jen and Grace. Got back and felt a bit like I’d run a marathon – windy, rainy and cold, and I can’t do that English thing we do of running from shop awning to shop doorway to keep dry. Silly country this – always rains, but there’s never any cover to get under! Architects are idiots. Anyway, plodded stoically up the High Street in the rain like a little old lady and was quite chuffed that I managed it. Felt like I was stretching the scar all the time – a bit unpleasant, but not painful.

Today Mum and Dad visited, as Dad is off to work in Paris on the day I go in to see the oncologists [roll on Tuesday! wish it were done already], so he came to say bye and good luck and supply me with more books. And fags! Good lad. Mum got me some organic Mint tea, so will try that later.

Having a bit of a funny day, as Aj is off to Stoke to deliver the Easter eggs and this evening out with his best mate Mikarik, for a few drinks. Tomorrow he’s off to see the Stoke match with the Boys of ’72 [don’t ask...] - very posh they are – in a suite! Then spending the night at his dad’s. Collecting my friend Patty from Bristol airport on his way home on Sunday [handy timing Patty!]. I am really happy he’s gone, as he needs a break to talk to normal people and have a bit of R&R, but I feel really lonely without him [ooo – selfish!]. BUT saying that, it’s nice to have a day on my own to just potter about. Confusing. Having a bit of a cry, and wondering why I am. I think it’s to do with another girl, a friends niece, who has this and she’s only 24. Makes me so sad, she’s so young – seems very unfair. Plus she’s having a really hard time of it – need to get her onto FB to join in the chat with the Jolly Gang. I am exhausted today too. Need to sleep a bit more I think. Over emotional.

Talking to the girls on FB today as well, Annabel and Tracey. Tracey the one who already has the ‘done this’ T-shirt has been giving lots of cool advice and ideas. One thing is a shopping list! Started it, and this is it so far:

¨ peppermint tea – good for wind and nausea. Blasted wind is driving me bonkers. Got that.
¨ ginger pieces [from the health food shop – not the crystallised stuff] – good for nausea after chemo – apparently they give you anti-nausea tablets, but only enough for 3 days [what??]. Then you have to just sort it yourself. Tracey said the ginger is brilliant for that.
¨ ice lollies – for the post chemo sore mouth
¨ Johnsons self tanning body lotion - for dry skin and to feel like you look better! can’t really sunbathe, so it gives you a bit of colour
¨ a manicure – this from a friend of Mum’s. Apparently your nails can dry out, so keeping polish on them can help.

Gotta get a grip, so I am going to do some work!! After I look at everyone’s pet dog on FB...think I need a pet too. Missing my cats.

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